Why More Young People Are Rejecting Arranged Marriages
In modern China, arranged marriages and matchmaking have turned into a lucrative business that is often seen as transactional and demeaning by many young people, leading to growing disillusionment and rejection of the practice.
The practice of arranged marriages and matchmaking has seen a resurgence in parts of rural China in recent years. Matchmakers charge fees to introduce potential partners, often with a significant premium placed on men. However, this practice is being increasingly rejected by young Chinese people, especially women, who see it as archaic and demeaning.
Many matchmaking agencies have sprung up, operating almost like businesses. They collect detailed personal information on candidates and charge hefty fees, especially to men. Women are often able to sign up for free. This transactional approach to marriage has left a bad taste in the mouths of many young people.
True life stories highlight the problems with this system. In one case, a man surnamed Li bluntly told a 32-year-old highly educated Beijing woman that she was past her prime and should be chasing him instead of looking for an equally successful partner. This kind of demeaning attitude is not uncommon.
In another example, a woman’s parents demanded that a potential husband purchase a house and car under the woman’s name before marriage. This left the man feeling like the relationship was based on money rather than love.
There are also many stories of matchmaking meetings going badly, with one side arriving extremely late or the other side having misrepresented themselves. The superficiality and materialism on display has disillusioned many young people.
Even the high-pressure tactics used by parents and matchmakers are backfiring. Young people resent being pushed into relationships and having their choices limited. The traditional emphasis on marrying early is also declining as young people focus on their education and careers.
While arranged marriages may have made sense in the past, young Chinese people today are increasingly looking for love on their own terms. They want relationships based on mutual affection and respect, not transactions brokered by third parties. As China continues to modernize, the business of arranged marriages may eventually become a relic of the past.