What to do when encountering unfair treatment at work repeatedly, fighting back but achieving no result, feeling physically and mentally exhausted and tired of going to work?

The Problem of Flattery in State-Owned Enterprises

A friend of mine recently asked for advice, saying that there is a lot of flattery and result-oriented behavior in state-owned enterprises. They are a genuine person who just wants to work hard and give their best, but it’s always others who receive recognition and rewards. They feel really down about it. What’s even more frustrating is that if they reduce their efforts, they will face criticism from their superiors.

My friend couldn’t understand why those who don’t do much work can still achieve success while they themselves work tirelessly. Where is the fairness in that?

I explained to them the situation in state-owned enterprises to put their mind at ease!

1. The Law of Praise?

I can assure you that no one likes to be a flatterer in the workplace, but almost everyone has done it! (If you haven’t, forget I said anything)

It’s not just state-owned enterprises, but any company will have people who engage in flattery. It’s an environmental issue. From the moment you enter the workplace, you have to be mentally prepared for this.

You may not agree with this unwritten rule, but you have to accept its existence.

What do I mean by acceptance?

It means accepting that some people may get ahead by cultivating interpersonal relationships, rather than bad-mouthing them and feeling resentful inside. Because, in the end, you are the one who will be most affected by this negative mindset.

To be more practical, what you truly dislike may not be the act of flattery itself, but rather why you haven’t learned how to do it.

You’ve seen the benefits that flattery brings, but you can’t replicate them, so you try to eliminate flattery in order to level the playing field.

I often say, don’t think of yourself as foolish, and definitely don’t think of yourself as “too noble.”

What you dislike might simply be something you haven’t understood, mastered, or adapted to yet; in reality, you are no worse than anyone else and no more noble than anyone else.

For example, flattery…

Maybe you’re just one step away from understanding the law of praise.

Give yourself some time to reflect and then make a judgment: should you leave or join?

2. Where Does Injustice Usually Exist?

The Way to Obtain Resources in State-Owned Enterprises: Flattery at the grassroots level; Attitude at the middle level; Value at the top level!

The biggest constraint for grassroots leaders in state-owned enterprises is limited power.

Have you noticed that some grassroots employees in state-owned enterprises fear nothing, not even their superiors? They may even be more assertive than their leaders. This is because they understand this rule.

Grassroots leaders in state-owned enterprises have the most difficult job and often face pressure from both superiors and subordinates.

Due to environmental factors, as a compensation mechanism, they like it when employees flatter them, as it gives them a sense of value and satisfaction.

For grassroots employees, a few kind words may bring them rewards (such as overtime pay, extra benefits, etc.). Why wouldn’t they do it?

Moreover, grassroots employees have limited abilities, and their “emotional value” is the easiest value to provide.

So, both parties agree and turn the grassroots into a “toxic” environment.

As you rise in rank, you will find that few people use flattery as a low-level tactic anymore. Instead, relationships are built on value and attitude.

Therefore, if you don’t want to rely on words, but rather on your abilities, then seize the opportunity to improve your skills and move away from lower levels as soon as possible.

3. A Dialectical View of “Social Skills”

“Social skills” are no longer limited to within the system.

In today’s workplace, you need to be able to walk on two legs. Besides focusing on the development of your professional skills, you also need to spend time understanding social dynamics.

For newcomers, complimenting colleagues and superiors may seem like flattery that compromises personal dignity. But as you gain experience, you will realize that giving positive feedback to those around you appropriately is a skill in social interactions and a display of emotional intelligence.

So, please don’t understand “social skills” as mere flattery.

China is a nation that values social dynamics, and social skills act as a good lubricant for interactions between people.

In the right way, social skills are emotional intelligence. I hope everyone can demonstrate a certain level of emotional intelligence in the workplace because it is an important advantage for your long-term development and a normal and reasonable behavior.

We shouldn’t engage in excessive flattery, nor should we isolate ourselves. Both extremes should be avoided.

4. How to Deal with the Environment?

Before deciding to get away from the environment, understand this logic:

People who genuinely dislike “social skills” refuse to praise others insincerely because it goes against their true feelings. They don’t want to be flattered themselves, even if their efforts at work don’t match the rewards or if they are surpassed by others. That’s because the guilt of engaging in social dynamics outweighs the happiness they could gain from taking a shortcut. That’s why we often see these self-righteous people quietly working behind the scenes and enjoying their freedom.

However, those who pretend to be righteous deeply desire attention. But due to factors like face-saving, naivety, and psychology, they don’t dare to seek it themselves. Therefore, they place their hopes on others, and that’s why they emphasize a balance of give and take. When they perceive unfair treatment, they often feel even worse than others because they can’t vent their frustrations outwardly and can only consume themselves in self-torment.

Based on the above, ask yourself a soul-searching question. If you truly think lightly of fame and fortune and just want to be yourself, then it’s best to distance yourself from the environment. On the other hand, if you have strong desires, then follow your instincts and don’t suppress yourself.

How to Deal with It:

1. Detach from Honor, Lower Expectations

In life and work, be worthy of both heaven and earth, not just your salary. As for fame and fortune, they are fleeting and temporary, having no value in the long run.

My boss once said, “When you enter the company, everyone worships you as a leader; when you leave the company, you’re nothing? You’re not a civil servant, and you’re not making significant contributions to the country. So, some comrades should not be so self-important.”

This shows that there’s no sense of superiority in working for a state-owned enterprise. And those who are touted as outstanding aren’t truly exceptional.

When you truly lower your expectations and reduce dependence, you will see those who strive for power and influence as clowns.

Granted, some friends might argue that their abilities don’t match their salaries.

But in fact, you cannot see the effort they put in behind the scenes. If you’re not willing to kneel, you won’t earn any money. This is fair.

2. Set Boundaries, Protect Yourself

Some people engage in interpersonal manipulation for promotions and pay raises. Others do it to do less work while earning more money.

Who shoulders the burden of their work? You, who are outside their circles.

To avoid being taken advantage of, you have to set boundaries and protect yourself.

I don’t recommend being a stern-faced person in the workplace, but you have to nip the so-called testing in the bud.

In fact, the first crossing of boundaries is often a “test.”

If you push back, the other person won’t think of you as a troublemaker (because they know they are in the wrong). Instead, they will see you as someone with principles, someone difficult to manipulate, or someone who has connections, and so on.

But if you show too much willingness, they will see an opportunity. They will continue to test you a second or third time until they make a judgment.

If they define you as someone who seeks a sycophantic relationship when there is no big tree to lean on, then you’re in trouble working for a state-owned enterprise…

3. Specialized Improvement, Become a Label

Standing out in your work requires having the skills.

If you excel in a certain aspect of your job, your leaders and colleagues will praise you. This is especially true in state-owned enterprises, as long as you have a “specialty.”

The range of labels is extensive and can even be narrowed down to a specific job. For example, if you write excellent work summaries, other departments will use yours as a benchmark. Over time, you will be the one defining the standards and direction of that work. Even your direct supervisor will have to listen to you. This is a classic case of “subordination.”

4. Find a Second Refuge

There was a woman who joined the company at the same time as me. She was very capable but ended up in a difficult position. However, she never complained…

That’s because she didn’t plan to spend her whole career in a state-owned enterprise; she saw it as a stepping stone to taking a government exam.

No matter how tiring the job or complex the relationships, it didn’t affect her because she had a goal.

That’s a spiritual refuge.

Leading a life striving for your own goals is fulfilling, and achieving those goals brings happiness.

Hating the current environment but being unwilling to change or being lazy to change leads to internal conflict.

If you really can’t adapt to the state-owned enterprise environment, then leave as soon as possible. Don’t waste your youth by consuming yourself in internal struggle.

Setbacks and Success in Work

I have firsthand experience with this issue, and I would like to share it with everyone for reference.

In my former company, I established a department. Initially, I was the only person in the department, but it eventually grew to four people.

Later, I hired an assistant who specialized in computer science. At that time, our foreign manager, who was not favored by the superiors in the department, resigned. We then hired a Portuguese person.

To be honest, this Portuguese person’s skills were just average, and their character was not great either. I will explain why later. However, my assistant and this Portuguese person developed a heated conflict. Within just over a year of the company’s establishment, they conspired and issued a company announcement promoting my assistant to the head of our Shanghai department. I was completely bewildered at that time.

At the end of that year, when I went on a business trip abroad and met with the foreign department leaders, I couldn’t help but burst into tears. I felt extremely unjust. Going on a business trip abroad, the small assistant I hired and this Portuguese person seemed to be more capable than me, and I felt somewhat redundant.

Moreover, this Portuguese person did something that shocked me. They issued a work improvement plan for me and set a three-month deadline to see progress. The implication was that if there was no improvement in my work within three months, the company could dismiss me for incompetence.

Regarding that work improvement plan, well, I did what I was told. However, the Portuguese person was naturally dissatisfied. Once, in the presence of the HR department, I had a heated argument with this Portuguese person over the execution of the work improvement plan.

I don’t remember how that work improvement plan ultimately ended, but one thing is certain: I failed my annual performance appraisal that year. A passing score was 3 points, but this Portuguese person gave me a score of 2.5, which I refused to sign. The HR department urged me several times to sign, but I refused. Looking back now, I realize refusing to sign was the right thing to do.

The following year, do you know what happened? That Portuguese person, for some reason, was dismissed by the company. When they left, they actually destroyed all the work-related data! Yes, their character was that bizarre. The Portuguese person destroyed the company’s data and work documents.

After the Portuguese person was dismissed, my assistant also voluntarily resigned! Later, a new manager was hired from abroad. During my business trip abroad, the new manager recognized my abilities, so when the company handed out bonuses the following year, I received a substantial amount. I don’t know if it included compensation for the guilt felt by the department leaders.

Anyway, that year was truly filled with immense pressure, grievances, and sadness. I would cry at home out of frustration and then put on a strong front when at the office. When I realized I was deliberately oppressed, I started reading books. Back then, I even passed the initial level of the CFA exam, which has a pass rate of only around 20%, and I didn’t have much of a foundation.

In conclusion, my experience has taught me to argue based on reason and trade time for justice. The worst possible outcome is being fired, but I will never resign on my own. That’s just how I am! Hmph!

Workplace Dilemma

This kind of situation exists in every workplace, but it depends on specific circumstances. Not all situations can be successfully resolved through struggle.

① Those who can successfully fight back

For example, in some companies where the market atmosphere is relatively fair, it is easier to succeed in fighting back. These companies are mostly outside the system. Especially in large foreign companies and relatively mature private enterprises, the main goal of these companies is to generate profits. However, it does not mean that everyone who comes to these companies is good at their job. Some people just want to slack off and take advantage of others when they are enjoying the benefits. Of course, some people always want to achieve some career accomplishments to prove themselves.

If people with these two different mindsets have similar work abilities, the ones who are more conscious and ambitious are most likely to be held down and used as a bolt, because they themselves want to move up. When the pressure from their superiors increases, they become even more motivated to move up. But when they’re already exhausted and want to take a break, they find that they can’t sit down.

This is what they call “the good are bullied, and the horses are ridden”. Once someone takes on a certain responsibility within the group, all relevant matters will be delegated to them. Although being seen as trustworthy may be an indicator of being taken advantage of, this situation should not be allowed to continue because all individuals within your organization should be equal. If you don’t want to do this task anymore, it is worth struggling a bit. After all, finding a compromise is always possible.

You can use some small tricks to push off certain tasks, delegate them to new team members, and refuse the requests of your superiors more often after work. Slowly but surely, everyone will become aware that you are not willing to take on these tasks anymore. After all, everyone feels tired from work at some point, right? At this time, the leader should start thinking about how to motivate other team members. The remaining tasks are no longer your concern; you just need to relax and take it easy.

② Those who are truly oppressed

This situation is more common in the system. The system is where class consciousness is most prevalent. If everyone is admitted through exams, it might be a little better. However, in many companies, including yourself, many people are there because of connections. In these organizations, there may be many unseen and intangible rules and lines.

One may be the leader’s nephew, another may be a connection brought in by government officials, and another one may be the nephew of a grassroots leader. Just think about it, if you are really the one recruited to work there, then you must do your job well.

There are many large state-owned enterprises that initially only employ local employees, who often have connections with the previous generation of employees, the government, or suppliers of the company. This has resulted in an excessive proportion of connections within the organization!

With so many connections, no one is willing to work because they all feel dissatisfied. The leaders are in a difficult position. At this time, what can be done? They can only hire one or two people without connections.

For example, a large number of recruits are brought in from outside the city to work. When they come to a new city, they hope to stay, but the primary condition for staying is to solve housing problems. Solving housing problems requires money, and to get money, one must work hard, otherwise what can be done?

Those privileged ones from local families have no shortage of houses, let alone money. If they are unhappy, they can quit and go back home, where they will be supported by their parents. If they are in a bad mood, they can even yell at their parents. Despite these parents appearing open-minded outside, when they see their children, they become grandchildren. In the end, they are in a difficult situation.

With this analysis, do you understand? If you are also in such an awkward situation, let me tell you, do not let your useless pride be shown, and do not constantly compare yourself with others. It is indeed not good for your role and it is true that you are not being treated fairly and you are dissatisfied. But people need to eat, and we still need to buy a house. We still need to live. You can’t just quit and go home because you’re upset. If you quit and go back home, you will face your elderly parents who don’t have the ability to support you. How can you compare yourself to others? Say 1,000 to 10,000, if you want to live a good life, you still need to have your own set of skills and maintain good relationships with these privileged individuals. Improve your relationship with your superiors at work by the end of the year and bring home more bonuses. That’s the right way to do it.

Interpersonal Communication Skills

The most foolish behavior in the system is when your leader ignores you and you also ignore them. Your leader may be difficult to get along with, but you are even more difficult. In the end, you will be the one at a disadvantage. When all the people around you are being promoted to important positions one after another, and only you are left behind, all you will feel is regret.

Maintain a high level of consistency with your leader. No leader likes subordinates who oppose them. Especially when it comes to policies that the leader has issued, they may have different opinions, but they will definitely not openly disagree with me. Instead, they will communicate privately and give me the opportunity to correct the policy.

This is called giving face to the leader.

The more skilled and involved you are in technical or business work, the more you bury your head and work hard, the less likely you are to be promoted.

Because the boss thinks differently: who will do this job if you leave?

Don’t be afraid of jokes. When I first started working, I had lunch with my leader one day.

Suddenly, he said, “The atmosphere in our department’s office is good lately.”

I foolishly replied, “Yes, I think so too. Everyone in our office is friendly and we have a lot of laughs every day. It’s really happy.”

From then on, our whole office became “fulfilled” with work.

I was so naive at the time, thinking that the world was really beautiful, that life was full of love everywhere. But reality came and hit me hard every day.

I have been in the system for nearly ten years, worked in 4 departments and held 6 positions.

I have served dozens of leaders, and I hope the following content will be helpful to you.

1. Conversation Techniques:

1. When the leader expresses an opinion and asks for your thoughts:

   Wrong response: “I have no opinion” or “I have nothing to add”

   Correct response: “Leader, I fully agree with your idea. I will carry out your instructions first. If there are any issues, I will provide feedback to you.”

   If the leader asks you to express your opinions during a meeting, the correct response is: “My colleagues have already covered everything. Let me add my thoughts…”

   Thoughts: Never stay silent, as it may be seen as having no opinion.

2. When the leader asks “Why did you ask me this question?” “Is there something wrong?” “What happened?”

   Example: If a colleague asks you, “How much is your salary this month?” You can reply, “It’s about the same as last month. Why do you ask? Did you have a big change in your income?” (If they say they did, suggest that they ask their boss)

   Thoughts: Question their intentions and take control of the conversation. They will end up answering their own questions. The key is to analyze rather than choose sides.

3. When the leader asks if you are busy:

   Wrong response: “I’m quite busy” or “It’s okay”

   Correct response: “Leader, I’m currently busy with XX. Time is tight, but the progress is normal and ongoing.”

   Thoughts: Responding that you are either busy or not busy is easy to step into a trap. The best approach is to not directly answer and provide a brief summary of your work.

4. When the leader assigns you a task you are unfamiliar with, don’t say you don’t know how to do it directly. You can say: “Leader, this is something I’ve never encountered before and I’m not familiar with it. Do you have any templates I can refer to? Also, when do you expect it to be completed?”

   Formula: Inquire about standards + expected time

   Thoughts: Sometimes, the instructions given by the leader are not clear. They don’t know exactly what they want, but they know what they don’t want. They are also unclear about where you might have questions. Asking them directly is the simplest way to find out. Otherwise, if you start working on it without clarification and end up doing something that goes against the leader’s expectations, not only will they have to clean up after you, but they will also consider you unreliable.

5. Dealing with gossipy colleagues - expertly using three phrases:

   “Oh, really?” “Who said that?” “I didn’t know about it.”

   When a colleague asks, “I heard that the boss is your relative?” You can say, “I didn’t know about that. Who said that? You should ask them.”

   When a colleague says, “Xiao Zhao is usually a good person. Isn’t it too much for Manager X to punish him this time?”

   You can say, “Oh, really? I don’t know much about this matter.”

   Thoughts: Avoid the topic without causing any conflicts.

6. When criticized by the leader, don’t immediately refute. If the area you’re refuting is something the leader had already thought of, you will only embarrass yourself. Just express your own thoughts:

   “Leader, you are absolutely right, but the outcome occurred because of my thoughts during the working process. Do you think my approach is correct? If there is an issue, what should I do? Do you have any better suggestions?”

   Thoughts: This approach doesn’t make the leader think you are just stubbornly defending yourself. It also helps stabilize the leader’s emotions and resolve the problem more quickly.

7. When the leader asks for your evaluation of someone or something:

   When the leader asks, “Who do you think is more suitable to be the team leader, Xiao Liu or Xiao Wang?”

   You can say, “Xiao Wang has provided me with a lot of help in my work, but Xiao Liu has stronger professional skills. Both are outstanding senior colleagues. I haven’t made a final judgment on who is more suitable to be the team leader.”

8. When the leader assigns you a task for which you can easily find the answer online, don’t go directly to the leader for clarification. It will leave a bad impression on the leader. However, if you spend too much time searching for the answer, then seek feedback from the leader in a timely manner.

   Phrase: “Leader, for the task you assigned yesterday, I have completed 70% so far. However, I encountered a problem with xxx. My initial thought was xxx, but I encountered resistance in the process of solving it. What should I do next?"

   Thoughts: You may have read many articles advising you to make the leader make choices instead of explaining, but if you really can’t solve a problem, being honest is the fastest way to resolve it. Sometimes, what you find difficult might be something the leader can resolve with just one sentence.

2. Establishing Relationships and Avoiding Pitfalls

Utilize false personae to avoid real issues. Give others the image you want them to see:

1. The “early sleeper” persona:

   What do you do if your leader suddenly assigns work after work hours? Just establish the “early sleeper” persona: “I went to bed early and didn’t see any messages” or “I don’t know, I went to bed early.”

2. The “strict spouse” persona:

   When a colleague asks you for a favor or invites you for a drink, and you feel uncomfortable directly refusing, you can say: “You know, my wife (husband) is very strict. We’ll end up arguing if I do that.”

3. The “naive and ignorant” persona:

   When someone asks for your help, you can say: “I don’t know anything, I don’t know how to do anything. Teach me and I’ll learn, if you don’t teach me, I won’t be able to do it. I’ll only do my assigned tasks and won’t interfere with anything else.”

4. The “mommy’s boy” persona:

   When you have no idea how to refuse someone, you can say: “My mom won’t allow it.” This statement alone can create a moment of silence for the other person: “My mom won’t let me lend money,” “My mom won’t let me drink.” In short, leave others speechless and satisfy yourself.

3. About Ethical Relations

1. Do more, make more mistakes. Do less, make fewer mistakes. Do nothing, make no mistakes. Don’t rush to complete your work to showcase your abilities. The more work you take on, the more work you will be given, and the greater the chance of making mistakes. Remember that negative consequences from making a mistake are far greater than positive impacts from doing a hundred things correctly.

2. Remember that important decisions are made in small meetings, and big meetings are only for minor matters.

3. When dealing with lower-level leaders, use attitude instead of ability. Abilities will be utilized and suppressed, while the right attitude will bring peace of mind. When dealing with higher-level leaders, be sincere instead of using tactics. Tactics will be discovered and disliked, while sincerity will earn trust. In general, you need to please lower-level leaders, as they are your stepping stones to promotion. To please higher-level leaders, you need to be favored by them. Only by winning them over can you succeed.

4. The most foolish behavior in the system is when your leader ignores you and you also ignore them. Your leader may be difficult to get along with, but you are even more difficult. In the end, you will be the one at a disadvantage. When all the people around you are being promoted to important positions one after another, and only you are left behind, all you will feel is regret.

5. Maintain good relationships with your colleagues in public and good relationships with your leader in private. If you have an average relationship with a colleague, I will “show” that we have a good relationship! When talking to other colleagues, I will subtly imply that we have a good relationship. This way, if we ever have a conflict one day, I can say, “I’ve always treated you well, how can you accuse me like this!” And similar remarks. I maintain a good relationship with my leader in private so that when they assign me tasks, I don’t have to worry about how other subordinates see it. Plus, leaders don’t like subordinates acting in their name.

6. Sit in the middle and towards the back during meetings, not in the last row. Sitting near the front will leave too much empty space when the leader arrives, making the photo look bad. The last few rows will need to move forward.

7. When visiting someone’s office, it is polite to take a sip of the tea they make for you. If it’s a disposable cup, take it with you when you leave. If you see someone looking for the leader to discuss work, take the initiative to make them a cup of tea.

8. In meetings, speak as little as possible. If you have something to contribute, it’s best to check with your leader beforehand. Don’t forget that everything you say in the meeting may end up in the meeting minutes, with only your signature and not your leader’s.

9. Don’t take advantage of others' kindness. There was a time when my car broke down, and I borrowed a colleague’s car for three days. One taxi ride was 20 yuan, so 60 yuan in total. Afterward, I bought a set of children’s picture books that cost nearly the same as the taxi fare and gave it to their grandchild. I said I had bought an extra set and it would be inconvenient to return it, so they should take it. The colleague was very happy. Can you guess how they would talk about me when I’m not around their colleagues in the office?

10. Eat in the company cafeteria more often to exchange information. I’ve always disagreed with young people who only stick with their own departments. I basically eat in the cafeteria and never sit with my own department.

4. Workplace Skills for Advancement

1. Be particularly reliable in your work. When I assign him a task, I don’t have to follow up on his progress. Because I know that no matter the result, he will complete the entire process and provide me with a result. He has great execution skills, so I trust him. If he succeeds in a task, I know he has put in a lot of effort. If he fails, I know he has tried his best.

2. Have high emotional intelligence. Know what to say and what not to say when in and out of the system. Understand your own role and how it contributes to departmental work. Be a positive driver, not a negative complainer. Use your hard work to motivate others and create a positive work atmosphere instead of forming cliques and complaining about your leaders and bosses.

3. Effective communication. When discussing work with me, if he has a different opinion on a certain matter, he won’t directly oppose my views. Instead, he will ask about the information he has gathered and whether using an alternative method would be more effective. When communicating with superiors, the goal is to solve problems, not just report them or complain. This is the right attitude towards work.

4. Seek guidance in a structured manner. When encountering a situation that requires guidance, several people have interrupted our conversation halfway because the leader couldn’t understand what they were trying to accomplish. Starting over only made their explanations more confusing. The leader’s impression can be imagined. When facing the need for guidance, you must first state the problem. For example, “Leader, the progress of pushing forward XXX is stuck because of a certain aspect. I need your support in this area. Here’s a brief account of the situation and my proposed solution. What do you think?” This way, the leader knows where the situation stands, what needs to be done, and how the problem can be resolved. Another benefit is that if the leader fails to solve the problem after getting involved, they won’t blame you. If the leader does solve the problem, they will be happy, which is called emotional attachment.

5. Provide timely feedback. Whenever I assign him a task, I never have to ask about the progress. At each key point, he will brief me, so I know which stage the task is at, whether there are any difficulties, and what support the company needs to provide. This allows me to better support his work.

5. Workplace Networking

1. Add a remark when adding a friend: Hello Director XXX! I am Xiao Li from the XXX department of XXX unit. I hope to learn a lot from you.

2. After adding a friend: Hello Director XXX! I am Xiao Li from the XXX office. My phone number is XXX. Please provide me with guidance on our work.

3. When notifying a group about matters or meetings: Hello Director XX! I am Xiao Li from the XXX office. According to the unified arrangement, a meeting will be held at 9 am on XX date at XXX. Please attend. I will now invite you to join the group, and I will send related meeting information to the group later.

4. When receiving a notification in a work group: Received.

5. When the leader assigns a task: Received, I will immediately implement it/carefully study it.

6. When leaving a work group: Dear leaders, due to job changes, I have been transferred to the XX department. I will now exit this group. Thank you all for your support and assistance. I wish you all success in your work!

7. When dissolving a temporary work group: Dear leaders, with everyone’s joint efforts, the XXX work has been successfully completed. This group will be dissolved. Thank you all for your efforts during this time. Please continue to stay in touch and I wish everyone success in their work!

8. Notes: Do not make direct voice calls unless necessary. If you really need to make a voice call, leave a message beforehand: “Is it convenient to make a phone call?” Don’t ask “Are you there?” It can easily lead to annoyance. Instead, address the matter directly. After establishing a group, promptly modify the group name and individual nicknames. Before sending or forwarding a message, always check for typos and correct greetings.

6. Workplace Drinking

1. During normal work, I have caused you a lot of trouble. Thank you for your guidance. I will remember your teachings and work diligently. Here’s to you! Let me start!

2. I’ll have this drink first. Leader, please enjoy yourself. I will work very hard in the future and won’t let you down.

3. Leader, I really found your earlier statement very insightful, so I have to toast you for that.

4. It is an honor to have dinner with you. I always learn something about how to conduct myself and my work from you. It is my pleasure to work with you. Cheers!

5. [To leader’s name], thank you for your advice and guidance. I have learned a lot from you, and I toast to you.

6. When drinking alone with someone to ask for a favor:

   “I hope you can give me some guidance. Whether it succeeds or not, it’s all up to fate. Please don’t make it difficult for me. If the money is not enough, I can add more.”

   (When the conversation is over and the bill is presented, genuinely offer to pay. You can be confident that it will be covered after saying this.)

   “I tend to think in a one-sided manner and lack a big picture view. I hope you can enlighten me. Becoming a success or not is all up to fate.”

   (Whether this matter succeeds or not is all up to fate. It doesn’t have much to do with me.)

I deleted 40% of the content of this article, otherwise it would have been too sensitive and would not have passed the review. If you want to read the complete version, you can add me on my private account: Private Account: CC15935778

Summing up, I’m turning thirty and reflecting on what I have done in these past ten years. I’ve spent days studying and working, and now I’m reflecting on a mix of small regrets and great satisfaction.

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Welcome like-minded individuals to join the group and exchange ideas.

Master the art of social conventions and change your fate thirty years in advance.

That’s all I have to write for now. I have already rambled on for quite a bit. Feel free to follow me for my entrepreneurial experiences after dropping out.

Workplace Injustice: Fighting in Vain, Forced to Endure Passively

Encountering injustice within the system happens far too often. You may feel that you have been treated unfairly and want to confront your superiors. However, they do not see it that way. Instead, they perceive you as someone who has too many issues, someone who does not comply with their orders, and someone who lacks responsibility. They label you with these criticisms and there is nothing you can do about it. In the end, if you fail to have a successful confrontation, not only will you not achieve justice, but you will also find yourself in a difficult situation. When faced with unreasonable work arrangements imposed by your superiors, the only option you have is to endure and continue working, unless you choose to resign.

Moreover, for those of us who have struggled to become civil servants or work in public institutions, we are even less willing to quit. We can only resist while compromising in silence.

Therefore, as ordinary people, when we face unfair treatment, it is futile to fight back because the work we do is often unappreciated and arduous. If we were to confront and protest, who would be left to handle all the heavy, dirty, and odd tasks?

Only those with connections and those who are part of the same camp as the leaders can find things easier.

Therefore, since we cannot win the fight, we either choose to resign and move on or we can only passively endure. We persuade ourselves to make peace and continue to suffer. What other options do we have?

The fate of ordinary people is indeed tragic; we can only be subjected to the arbitrary actions of those in power.

One of my classmates works at a public institution in Lanzhou. He handles the reimbursement of funds related to project engineering in his office, involving hundreds of thousands of yuan. Although there are contracts, invoices, and even meeting records for large expenditures during the reimbursement process, my classmate is still very cautious about the financial aspect of the projects. He asked the office director if it would be possible for two people to sign the reimbursement form in the “handled by” column, as he felt that the reimbursement amount was too large for one person to handle alone. However, the office director disagreed. My classmate suggested that if he couldn’t sign the form alone, he would either find another colleague to co-sign or not sign it at all.

Surprisingly, the office director rejected this reasonable suggestion. My classmate stated that if he couldn’t have another person co-sign, then he wouldn’t sign the reimbursement form at all. The office director started arguing with my classmate, accusing him of lacking responsibility, not understanding the bigger picture, and not complying with leadership’s orders. The argument escalated into a big fight.

Later, because the office director realized that my classmate was unyielding and unperturbed, he went directly to the top leadership of the organization, accusing my classmate of resisting every task assigned to him and not complying with arrangements, ultimately lacking responsibility. The organization’s top leader summoned my classmate and asked why he refused to sign the form. My classmate explained that the reimbursement amount was too large and suggested having two people sign in the “handled by” column. However, the leader also refused this suggestion, stating that with proper contracts and approval through meetings, there was nothing to worry about.

My classmate knew that he couldn’t resist any further. The office director had involved the top leadership, so he had no authority to argue. He could only reluctantly accept the situation.

However, he still tried to protect himself as best as he could. If there were any future reimbursement forms to sign, he always made sure to register and check the contracts, invoices, and meeting records. Even if there were problems during audits in the future, he had sufficient evidence to show that the processes related to these projects were legitimate. After all, as a nobody, all he could do was carry out his duties. Unless he chose to give up his career within the system, he had no choice but to comply.

Therefore, unfair situations are common, whether we work within the system or not. As ordinary individuals, we are bound to encounter them without any means to fight back or refuse. We can only passively accept the outcome. What else can we do?

Just like my classmate, he fought back but couldn’t refuse. He was forced to accept the situation. What else could he do?

Methods to Deal with Unfair Treatment

In the workplace, most people may have experienced unfair treatment, which often leaves them feeling helpless and frustrated. When we strive for fairness but achieve no results, we become mentally and physically exhausted, and we lose interest in our work. In the face of such situations, how should we deal with them?

Firstly, we need to calm down and evaluate our own situation. Reflect on our own shortcomings and issues that may exist in our fight for justice. Understand our rights and responsibilities, as well as how to communicate with the organization. This way, we can have a clearer understanding of the nature of the problem and find better ways to solve it.

Secondly, we can actively seek help and support. Communicate with colleagues, friends, or family members and listen to their opinions and suggestions. We can also seek assistance from professional organizations or lawyers to understand relevant laws and regulations in order to protect our rights. By sharing our own difficulties with others, we can not only receive more help and support but also lighten our mental burden.

Furthermore, when faced with unfair treatment, we should maintain a positive attitude. Despite the setbacks and fatigue that may come with the fight, we must not give up on the pursuit of fairness. We must believe that our efforts will be rewarded, persistently fight for our rights, and seize opportunities to change the current situation.

Most importantly, we should pay attention to our physical and mental health. After work, it is important to properly arrange rest and leisure activities and maintain good lifestyle habits. At the same time, we can also enhance our abilities and qualities by participating in training or further education courses to prepare for the future.

In conclusion, when facing unfair treatment, we should not let ourselves be troubled or lose interest. We need to think calmly, seek help and support, maintain a positive mindset, and pay attention to our physical and mental health. Only by doing so can we overcome difficulties, break free from adversity, and find our own justice and happiness.

Four and a half years of work oppression, fighting back for liberation.

This is what I am currently experiencing.

The most fearful thing about working in a company is having a boss who is a confidant of the owner.

In situations like this, it is usually the case that you end up doing all the work, while the salary goes into the boss’s pocket, and you are the one carrying all the blame.

I have been working in my current company for almost 6 years, and in the first year and a half, my former boss was in charge.

Since my former boss had no relationship with the owner, we were on the same page, and we worked together smoothly, sharing both joys and sorrows.

During that time, I went to work every day, feeling happy and satisfied, to the point where I wanted to continue doing this job until retirement.

But then I got a new boss, who is the owner’s classmate’s younger sister. They have known each other for at least 30 years, and it was the owner who brought her to this company.

This new boss came in with a strong authoritative attitude, even though she clearly didn’t understand anything, she always tried to interfere.

I followed her instructions every day, but ended up being complained about every day, making me feel extremely miserable.

Sometimes I couldn’t hold back and resisted her, and as a result, she would endlessly increase my workload.

This led to my work becoming even more demanding and varied, filled with meaningless and frustrating tasks.

In addition, she often sabotaged me, so in the eyes of others, it seemed like I wasn’t doing my job properly.

When my former boss was in charge, the work was easy and enjoyable, and my salary and bonuses increased significantly.

But since following my current boss, the work has become overwhelming and oppressive, and my salary and bonuses have decreased significantly, almost to the point of zero change.

In this way, I have been working under excessive pressure for over 4 years. Starting from last year, whenever I am emotionally agitated, my hands, body, and even my whole body tremble.

I finally realized that my mental and physical health had deteriorated, so I started fighting back against everyone.

I fought back without distinguishing between targets, whether it was the boss’s confidant, the boss, or even the owner. As long as it wasn’t my fault, I would directly confront them.

As a result, my state of mind became much more relaxed.

Change of Mindset: Analyze Calmly, Communicate and Coordinate, Enhance Personal Skills

If you encounter unfair treatment in the workplace and have fought back without results, and you are tired both mentally and physically of going to work, then you need to change your mindset.

In the workplace, it is important to be flexible rather than rigid. What do people fear the most? It is politeness, humility, and being reasonable.

First, you need to calm down and analyze carefully. As the saying goes, “Know yourself and know your enemy, and you will not be defeated in a hundred battles.” You need to objectively analyze the so-called unfair situation you are facing, and most likely, it is related to salary and position.

What causes this situation? Is it due to being excluded in the workplace, or is it a result of the workplace culture? If it is the latter, I believe you should adjust your mindset appropriately. Since the company values seniority, you should wait patiently. Eventually, it will be your turn. But for now, there may be someone who is disrupting the rules for you.

Second, communicate and coordinate, turn passivity into proactivity. As the saying goes, “The crying baby gets the milk.” Since you have already experienced unfair treatment, you should find a way to let others know about this unfair treatment.

Find your supervisor, but not immediately. Give it a few days first, and then talk with them about the unfair treatment you have received. Express your thoughts and insights sincerely, with a gentle and candid tone. Show that you have thoughts and ideas, leaving a deep impression on your superior.

The result of your actions will be that although you may have suffered some losses for now, it will be worth it. You will leave a modest, obedient, and respectful impression, making your superior feel indebted to you. Trust me, they will take care of you afterwards.

Third, enhance your personal skills and go from excellent to outstanding. When I mention personal skills, it does not only refer to taking the initiative to learn in your field of expertise and being able to let go of things related to work, although that is indeed an important foundation.

But it should not be limited to this. More broadly, it means practicing how to deal with people and situations in the workplace, as the saying goes, “Broad is the sky with a thousand valleys, in my heart are poems and books.” Be magnanimous, reasonable, and composed. Even if you have been wronged, keep a smile on your face.

If you have been wronged and you stubbornly put on a defiant expression, disregarding the thoughts of others, then you have just given your superior a reason: “A child who cannot be taught.”

These are the thoughts I have, and I welcome everyone to discuss.

Unfair Treatment

In fact, this kind of situation is very common, whether it’s in factories or in organizations, companies will encounter this kind of situation, where veteran employees bully new employees and superiors bully subordinates. It is not uncommon for people in the same position to be treated unfairly.

I remember a particularly memorable incident: in a certain electronics factory in Suzhou, when distributing employee badges, the distributor threw the badges on the ground for the new employees to pick up themselves. After the video was released online, it continued to spread, and although the factory has since announced remedial measures, the negative impact caused by the incident is irreparable.

Although it is said that the incident has caused irreparable damage to the reputation of the factory, it’s possible that there are even more serious issues that haven’t been exposed.

Encountering unfair treatment is even more common. As someone in a multi-functional role in a small company, I happen to be the person in charge of recruitment. In our small city, at this eighteen-line place, men in the same position generally receive five hundred more than women. Why? The reason given is that men have families to support. But is it really true that men are better in terms of job skills and capabilities? It’s not necessarily the case, but it is the reality. The male colleague who holds the same position as me earns higher wages, but I do more work because he doesn’t know how to do certain tasks.

I have discussed this issue with the boss, but he insists on his viewpoint. I am helpless.

Sometimes we may feel that things are unfair, but in this world, fairness is not always present. If you go to your boss to discuss this, they will only make jokes and not take it seriously. They think that by offering you a job as a woman, they have already done a great favor, so why would you expect a raise? If you complain too much, they will simply tell you that if you don’t think it’s suitable, you can quit. I have seen this kind of thing happen countless times.

So, we must hold on to our own principles. We go to work and take on jobs for the salary. Once the salary has been agreed upon, we come to work, do our own tasks well, and don’t pay too much attention to others or other matters. Don’t let insignificant things bother us. As long as we can receive the agreed-upon salary, everything else is just passing clouds.

Social Phenomenon: Injustice as the Norm

Not only in the workplace, but also in our daily lives, there is an abundance of injustice in society. Let me make it clear upfront that I am not encouraging anti-social behavior. Don’t expect justice to solve your problems; just understand that injustice is the norm, and you won’t be surprised anymore.

In the book “Zeng Guofan’s Expanded Texts,” there is a poem that goes: “The poor in a bustling city, no one cares; the wealthy in the deep mountains, have distant relatives. If you don’t believe it, just look at the toasts at banquets. Cup by cup, they are first raised to the rich and noble. In front of the door, there are high-headed horses tied, whether they are kin or not. In front of the door, beggar sticks are placed, but relatives and friends don’t come knocking. In this world, making friends requires wealth, and without much wealth, friendships are shallow. With money and wine, there are many brothers, but in times of difficulty, hardly anyone can be found. Three times poor, three times wealthy, how many people have experienced rise and fall over ten years? Who has nobody talking behind their back? Who doesn’t talk about others behind their back?”

Although this poem does not explicitly mention the issue of injustice, it certainly vividly depicts the injustice in society.

So, once you understand that these injustices are normal social phenomena, there is no need to dwell on them. Just work hard and strive for the best.