What is the best state in university?

Nov 22, 2023 life-in-university, college-students, university, confusion-among-college-students

Don’t limit yourself.

Enjoying Life Alone

In the TV show “The Big Bang Theory,” there is a passage that goes like this:

Maybe you don’t fit in at school, Maybe you’re the shortest, fattest, or weirdest kid in school, Maybe you don’t have any friends…

But it doesn’t really matter.

The key is, the time you spend alone, like assembling a computer, practicing the cello… You’re actually making yourself interesting.

When someone finally notices you one day, they will discover someone cooler than they could have imagined.

It’s okay to have no friends, it’s okay to be alone.

Low-quality socializing is not as useful as improving yourself.

A truly interesting person, even when alone, will have the strength of an army.

It’s Difficult to Go to Bed Early and Get Up Early, but it’s Worth It

When I was in college, I had a habit of staying up late. I would often stay up until the early morning and then wake up around noon. As a result, my complexion became dull, I felt lethargic all day, and my productivity was very low. My roommate, who also stayed up late, frequently experienced heart palpitations, which scared me into changing my bad habit.

Afterwards, I started going to bed at 11 pm and waking up naturally at 7 am. I found that I had plenty of time throughout the day and my efficiency was much higher. After I stopped staying up late, my acne started to improve, my dark circles faded, and my overall mental and physical state returned to normal.

Don’t Be Submissive, Don’t Care About Others' Opinions

I advise all young people who are hesitant and indecisive to repeatedly read this sentence:

Everyone’s opinions and evaluations are temporary, only your own experiences and achievements accompany you for a lifetime. Almost all worries and fears come from your own imagination, only when you truly act will you discover how happy you can be.

Study in the library openly, do what you want to do openly, and all the sneers and ridicule will become their own laughter at the moment of your success.

Be yourself, be confident, and that’s enough.

Don’t Stay in the Dormitory Except for Sleeping

The dormitory is like a comfort zone for college students. Spending the whole day in the dormitory watching TV shows and snacking will make the day pass quickly. It’s only when it gets dark that you realize you haven’t done anything all day.

Go out and explore to discover interesting people and things. Go to the library and pick out books that interest you to read. Visit local attractions near the school and experience the local customs. Exercise at the gym and run or play sports with peers of the same age. Make new friends and work part-time to save up some money. Don’t let the dormitory limit the lively and vibrant person you should be.

If you agree, double-tap the screen to give it a like. (｡ˇεˇ｡）

Roommates May Not Be Friends

Roommates can be your best friends for life, or they can be strangers you live with for four years. Either way, it’s not necessary to become enemies. Don’t discuss absent roommates behind their backs, because you never know when they might betray you.

Maintain boundaries with your roommates; don’t reveal too much about yourself right from the start. Avoid making deep connections too quickly.

Don’t Take Advantage of Others

If you have a good relationship with your classmates and someone receives a scholarship, don’t pressure them to treat you. The money spent on treating you to a meal could feed them for a week. In this society, there are always people living in poverty, and what seems like a small meal to you could be a great act of kindness to someone else.

Don’t Settle for Cheap Labor in Part-Time Jobs

When I first entered college, my first part-time job was handing out flyers, earning 10 yuan per hour; I worked in the school cafeteria kitchen and earned 12-15 yuan per hour; Later, I took care of 8 children for 200 yuan for 8 hours; And then I started doing self-media, earning a four-digit income for each advertisement.

I’m not sharing my money-making experiences to encourage everyone to become self-media creators. My path to making money is not meant to be taken as a reference.

What I want to say is that handing out flyers and working in the cafeteria did not bring me any growth. If I had realized earlier and spent that time learning a skill, the returns from that skill would have been much greater than those low-paying part-time jobs.

Moreover, if your part-time job does not add value, it’s better to treat it as an experience. The value brought by reading books cannot be replicated through part-time work. Part-time work can bring immediate benefits, but reading can increase your value in the future. So don’t waste your time on part-time jobs that take away from your reading. The money you earn now can be earned back through reading in the future.

Be a Long-Termist, Do Things That Bring Long-Term Benefits

Develop good habits, such as reading, running, learning English, playing a musical instrument, and so on. In the beginning, you may not see any progress for a day or two, and you may lose interest after a week. But if you persist, not for too long, you will begin to observe changes in yourself after two months.

These changes won’t make you suddenly become extraordinary, but they will bring subtle changes over time. When you look back after persisting for six months or a year, you will see significant gains.

Achieving Something Requires Sacrifice

If you want to excel in your studies, win scholarships, inevitably you will have to reduce the time for rest, socializing, and entertainment. After all, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

When you want something, it’s inevitable that you will lose something in return. There are no free lunches in life. If one day, you do happen to receive an unexpected windfall, be wary of the frying pan that comes with it.

Don’t Limit Yourself

Be bold in doing things you want to do and actively pursue good ideas.

When you do the things you want to do while you’re young and they are severely interfered with or distorted, it can cause depression and even lead to a loss of motivation. Many mediocre people are shaped by these distortions.

Accept Your Mediocrity

When you go to college, you will find that some people spend in one day what you spend in a month; some people drink and dance but still rank first in the class; some people excel in singing and dancing in clubs; some people play games every day and make their first bucket of gold by live streaming.

The differences between people can be significant, and these differences can make you feel very small.

As Wang Xiaobo said in the book “Golden Age”: “Life is a slow process of being beaten. Day by day, people age and desires disappear until they become like a cow beaten with a hammer.”

But don’t worry, young people. You have to learn to accept all the disparities and inequalities in this world in order to achieve harmony with yourself and the world. Only by accepting your own mediocrity will you be able to become extraordinary in the future.

Turn Ambition into Action

I’ve seen many people who make grand declarations on social media late at night. I’ve also seen many people who frequently say, “I must…” or “I will…” But in the end, these people are undoubtedly left with their words backfiring. They delete those social media posts and stop mentioning those things, as if the wind has never blown and the birds have never flown.

The essence of this matter lies in having ambition without taking action. It’s as if saying, “I have great ambition while lying in bed” describes it perfectly.

The best way to address the common problem of college students having ambition but lacking the ability is to talk less and do more practical things. Only through practical actions can we prosper the country.

Double-tap the screen to give it a like, and we can all practice what we say.

Learn to Subtract. Not just in studying, but in life as well.

When you make a plan, it feels great. But when you try to execute it, you may experience regret. Whether it’s in life or studying, we often fall into the “mental trap” of constantly adding to ourselves, not realizing that we end up not doing anything well.

In fact, learning to subtract is far more important than blindly adding. Give yourself only three most important tasks each day, prioritizing them according to their importance and urgency.

Accept the Reality of Having No Friends

Eating alone, attending classes alone, and going to the restroom alone are not embarrassing. There are many people like this in college, and they don’t fit into any particular circle.

While you’re reading, they’re playing games; while you’re attending class, they’re sleeping in the dormitory; while you’re studying, they’re going out for drinks. These kinds of friends are a waste of your time. Stay on your own path and you will meet like-minded people.

Spend Less Time on Social Media

No matter how much time you spend scrolling through your social media feeds, those who won’t give you a like still won’t like your posts. Those who won’t reach out to you won’t suddenly start contacting you. Your meticulously edited photos won’t be photoshopped again. What others share about their lives may not be what you want to see. Focus your time on doing what’s important to you.

Don’t Talk About Things You Haven’t Done

Keep your plans and achievements to yourself until they are realized.

For example, if you plan to be in the top ten of your grade, don’t share pictures of your study sessions on social media. Wait until you’ve achieved that goal, and then share your success. Everyone will praise you. If you announce it beforehand and fail to achieve it, others will think you’re just a fool who talks without action.

Maintain Your Temper and Bottom Line

One loss is forgivable, but constantly being taken advantage of is your own fault. When you bring snacks and water back for your roommates, don’t forget to ask them for money. Don’t think a few yuan doesn’t matter, because if you don’t ask for it the first time, you won’t be able to ask for it again later. If they don’t give the first time, don’t expect them to suddenly have a change of heart.

Being overly accommodating won’t make others think highly of you; it will make them think they can take advantage of you.

Be Polite to Your Advisor

Even though your advisor may not have much influence or be seen frequently, they still have the authority to approve major decisions at school. Whether it’s asking for leave to go home or coming back late to school, you will need their signature and approval.

Get to Know 1-2 Senior Students in Your Field

Senior students can provide a lot of experience in studies and life. You can seek their advice on course selection, graduate school applications, internships, and final exams. Buying second-hand books from senior students can also save you money.

But don’t become a sycophant to senior students. Don’t flatter or please them. When you need help, you can give them small gifts or buy them a cup of tea, but don’t freeload or curry favor.

University is Meant for Making Mistakes

Before entering college, you may have been seen as the “neighbor next door” by everyone, and everything you did was right. Even if you farted, it smelled good. However, once you enter college, you may realize that your abilities aren’t as strong as you thought, and you will make mistakes in many things. But that’s what college is for — to encourage you to make mistakes with low costs and risks, allowing you to recognize your shortcomings and correct them.

Encourage and Appreciate Others

Be generous in encouraging and appreciating others. For example, if you see a great answer on Zhihu, give it a like, as it will be the biggest encouragement and appreciation for the author.

Control Your Desire to Consume

Always remember that you are just a student. Those excessively consumptive things, even if you buy them, won’t bring you comfort. Taking on high debts just to satisfy your vanity will harm both your loved ones and yourself.

You Don’t Have to Take Every Certification Exam, Understand the Importance of Certifications

The CET-4, CET-6, and computer certifications are necessary exams, and some schools require them to graduate. Certifications like teaching qualifications, tour guide licenses, and nutritionist certificates, which are unrelated to your major, can be taken when you have time.

Embrace Success

I strongly agree with the saying by Luo Xiang:

You’re afraid of standing out, You’re afraid of making a fool of yourself, Afraid of becoming an important person, Afraid of taking responsibility, In reality, you’re afraid of success, If you’re afraid of success, How can you achieve it?

As long as you worry about how others see you, they will be able to manipulate you. Only when you stop seeking approval from others can you truly become your own master.

Don’t Procrastinate, the Ability to Execute is Severely Underestimated

When you have goals and ideas, don’t keep thinking about doing it next time. Instead, take immediate action to achieve it. Only by taking the first step can you gradually progress. For example, start by giving this Zhihu answer a like, as a starting point for change.

The best state in college is when you can feel yourself improving and making gains every day, rather than feeling lost and anxious in the dormitory. Instead of lying in the dormitory, it’s better to head to the library and make real efforts.

I’m missing translation number 26.
Regularly Call Your Family

Being far away from home, your parents will worry and miss you. While living your own life, don’t forget to involve your parents by regularly sharing things happening in your life. Let them feel connected to your life.

Don’t Limit Yourself, Embrace All Possibilities

Be daring and do what you want to do. Act on good ideas actively.

When you do what you want to do in your youth, it may be stifled and distorted, which can lead to depression and a lack of motivation. Many insignificances come from such distortions.

Accept Your Ordinary Life

After entering college, you may find that some people spend in one day what you spend in a month; some people drink and dance, yet still rank first in the class; some people excel in singing and dancing in clubs; some people play games every day and make their first bucket of gold by livestreaming.

The differences between people can be significant, and these differences can make you feel very small.

In his book “Golden Age,” Wang Xiaobo said: “Life is a slow process of being beaten. Day by day, people age and desires disappear until they become like a cow beaten with a hammer.”

Turn Ambition into Action

I once heard a very powerful and inspiring sentence: “Allow everything to happen.” This is the most important lesson for students to become adults.

Everything happens, and it’s impossible for you to stop it. Whether you fear it or not, it will still happen. So, I choose to let it pass and not to struggle against it.

When you allow everything to happen, you become a softer and more relaxed person. There is a saying in Buddhism: “The external world changes with the mind.” By putting all the unpleasant things in front of death, you can accommodate and explain them. Then you will not live so grudgingly.

A Higher Level of Education Brings More Benefits Than We Imagine

If you study well, it can truly change your destiny. At least during the first five years after entering society, your education will be compared with others. Unless you have exceptional talent and ability, wherever you go, you will always be compared to others.

–end–

Long time no see, I am @川泽先生, a post-00s freelance writer who is fortunate to have 200,000 readers at the age of 20 and achieve financial independence through writing.

If you are interested in my story, please follow me and stay to listen. I will slowly tell you my story.

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ✨

I will continue to share here:

Appliance and digital product evaluations/good product recommendations/gift collections

Self-media experiences/writing monetization/growth insights

If one day I stop updating, it means I am enjoying a good life!

(//∇//)。

//The images and text are sourced from the internet, subject to deletion.

Lightweight Achievements

Translation: Lightweight Achievements Achieving excellent grades with ease,

Winning honors left and right,

A string of research achievements,

Triumph on the sports field,

A killer in matters of the heart off the field,

Graduating with a car and a house,

Future plans already in place,

The above is just wishful thinking,

Being able to achieve 2-3 of these would already be great,

The key is to participate, the key is to participate.

Best Years of My Life

During my years in college, I did whatever I wanted. I studied when I felt like it and skipped classes when I didn’t. I worked part-time jobs when I wanted to make money. I openly dated whoever I liked. I approached preparing for postgraduate exams with a serious attitude. I didn’t leave anything undone that I wanted to do. It was a carefree and fulfilling time for me.

Looking back now, those four years were truly the best period of my life.

I received scholarships for three years, except for one year when I didn’t take it seriously and skipped classes too often (serves me right). The money I earned from part-time jobs was enough for my expenses, and I didn’t skimp on indulging in good food and drinks. My dating experiences weren’t that great, but at least I can say I had some. And I was quite satisfied with my final postgraduate exam scores.

I was full of vitality and always making progress. I liked who I was during that time.

It is not necessary to fit in with different circles, and some people are destined not to become friends.

Some people may not be compatible with you in terms of values, interests, or personalities. Trying to force a friendship with them will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Instead, focus on building relationships with people who share similar interests and values. Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals who can inspire and motivate you to grow.

25、自律和时间管理

大学生活的自由度很高，没有老师的督促，你需要自己管理好时间。制定一个合理的学习计划，并坚持执行。养成良好的自律习惯，避免拖延和浪费时间。知道何时该玩乐，何时该工作，何时该休息，才能更好地平衡学习和生活。

26、与导师建立良好的关系

若你有实习或研究等机会，与导师建立良好的关系非常重要。导师可以给你提供指导和支持，帮助你在学术或职业方向上获得更多机会。与导师保持积极的沟通，主动寻求建议和帮助，展示你的热情和才华。

27、保持身体健康

大学生活中，保持身体健康是非常重要的。要注意饮食均衡，多运动，保持充足的睡眠。同时，要关注自己的身体状况，定期进行体检，及时就医。身体健康是一切的基础，只有保持良好的身体状况，才能更好地应对学习和生活的挑战。

28、享受大学生活

最后，不要忘记享受大学生活。大学是一个丰富多彩的阶段，是你成长和发展的重要时期。与朋友一起参加校园活动，探索新的兴趣爱好，结交新的朋友。珍惜这段美好的时光，创造属于自己的回忆。

以上就是关于大学生活的一些建议。大学是人生中重要的阶段之一，希望你能把握机会，获得丰富的学习和成长经历。祝你在大学中取得优异的成绩，并度过难忘的时光！

The Power of Taking Action

Do what you think of immediately.

And the bigger the problem, the better you will do. Really.

I had a deep understanding of this during my time in college. People grow under challenges, and the bigger the challenge, the faster the growth.

I had a classmate who wanted to learn photography during our freshman year. He bought a second-hand camera, borrowed some books from the library, and attended classes with friends from the photography department during his free time. He would go out on weekends to take photos around the campus and on the streets. He persisted for three months. I asked him how he was doing, and he said he could understand everything the teacher said and knew how to use the basic functions of the camera, but he still felt like he didn’t know anything. He showed me his photos, but they were just ordinary, not much different from photos taken with a phone.

Later, he joined the media center of our school. There was an opportunity when a senior student sent out a notice organizing students to shoot a promotional video for the school, and they needed students from the photography department or those who loved photography to join. They provided equipment and paid wages. Even though he didn’t know anything, he had the courage to sign up and participate. The leader of the project was a senior student from the photography department who asked him to try writing a few pages of storyboards. He didn’t even know what a storyboard was, so he had to search it on Baidu.

But in the end, one-third of the script was written by him.

He said that reading books for three months without a goal or focus didn’t help him learn anything. Since he started writing the script and shooting the entire process, the senior students were there to watch and answer his questions when he didn’t understand, and gave him opportunities to try. They created a path through mountains and built bridges over water together.

In actual problems, you can understand that among those books, 20% of the knowledge can solve 80% of the problems. Once you understand and practice that 20% through practical experience, you will quickly master it.

He continued to pursue his interest until his senior year, and he could already direct short films. After graduation, he found a job related to the film industry.

When I was preparing for postgraduate entrance exams, I only dared to memorize vocabulary and was afraid to attempt the practice tests. I thought that my basic English skills were insufficient because I had only passed the CET-4. But then I decided to give it a try, and I discovered that many times, completing one practice test helped me understand three questions. It was a pleasant surprise for someone like me, who was not good at English. For the sentences I didn’t understand, I would analyze them word by word using the explanation book “The Truth About Postgraduate Entrance Exams,” and mark the meanings of unfamiliar words. In the end, I scored over 70 in the English section.

Also, for those preparing for the 2025 postgraduate entrance exams, if you didn’t pass the CET-4, be sure to use “The Truth About Postgraduate Entrance Exams” as your practice book! There is a reason why many people use this book for practice. It not only analyzes complex and lengthy sentences, but explains every single sentence in the reading passages (some other practice books only analyze complex sentences but not in detail). It is convenient to use because you don’t need to search for additional explanations. Later, when I did translation exercises, it became very handy. I believe that the detailed analysis of each sentence in the explanation book played a significant role in my progress. The grammar analysis of each sentence is presented in diagram form, which is very clear and easy to understand.

For those with weak foundations, follow the “four-round review” method in the book. Each round focuses on specific key points to improve efficiency. Especially for those who haven’t passed the CET-6, make sure to thoroughly study the discourse analysis section in “The Truth.”

PS: “The Truth About Postgraduate Entrance Exams” has four versions: beginner’s edition, CET-4 edition, CET-4 pass edition, and CET-6 low score edition. Choose according to your foundation!

During my college years, I wrote fanfiction. After endless revisions, one of my articles received only a few likes. But when I incorporated the impromptu plot details I thought of while chatting with fellow fans into the outline, the final article garnered over 80,000 views and gained nearly 200 followers.

I have discovered the most direct method for an ordinary person to change their luck:

It is this: always support yourself and take action immediately.

1. Simplify and break down goals.

Establishing an achievable goal is the first priority compared to execution.

For example, two people set a reading goal: one plans to read 30 books in a year, while the other aims to read 3 books in a month.

Although the goals seem similar, the likelihood of achieving the latter is often much higher in practice.

Breaking a long-term goal into many short-term ones significantly reduces the difficulty of execution and lessens internal resistance.

2. Use the “five-minute rule” to refuse procrastination.

A psychology research team at Carleton University invented an excellent method to combat procrastination: the “five-minute rule.”

When you have planned something in your mind, cut off all kinds of excuses and temptations. Don’t think about anything else and immediately dive into the task for five minutes. By doing this, you have already won against 99% of people.

3. Establish motivation and reward yourself when appropriate.

“The things that make us better are always the difficult ones.”

Execution is not a spontaneous decision; it requires swift action and persistent commitment.

After completing a short-term goal, you can give yourself some suitable self-motivation based on the actual situation. This is an affirmation and encouragement of past progress and a glimpse into the future goals.

4. Don’t let anyone disrupt your rhythm.

In the past, when I scrolled through social media and saw others succeeding in postgraduate exams, studying abroad, or going on vacations, I felt a mix of envy and anxiety. I thought their lives were so exciting while mine felt dull and aimless.

Later, I realized that others' success and life progress have nothing to do with me. It brings me nothing but anxiety and internal struggle. Different experiences, knowledge, and family backgrounds inevitably determine that everyone has a different pace. Be patient, persist, and what I want will come to me one day.

5. Don’t overthink about yourself.

I found that people who overthink about themselves are never happy.

When chatting with others and sensing their mood change, they immediately think they said something wrong. When encountering a problem at work, they take all the blame upon themselves and hold onto their mistakes. They make themselves cautious and live a tiresome life.

But in reality, many details in social interactions can’t withstand scrutiny. So why torture ourselves with trivial matters? Keep a relaxed mindset and repeat in your mind, “It’s not a big deal,” to avoid unnecessary self-blame and worries.

6. Apply the law of attraction.

Believe in what kind of person you want to be.

I often tell myself, “I can be disciplined, complete all my professional courses, improve my efficiency, pursue a freelance career in the future, and live the life I want based on my abilities.”

Once I started believing, my attitude became optimistic, my actions became proactive, and my energy became focused. I allow failures and setbacks to happen, but they do not prevent me from believing in myself.

If the changes you desire don’t start now, they may never start.

Ideal lives don’t just happen. You have to run towards them to catch the moon in your heart.

Sanmao once said, “I have an idea, I want to do it!”

The beginning of everything is difficult, but once you start, you have already surpassed a large portion of people.

Take action, and the life you desire will come to you.

Do Something Small and Build Confidence

In college, if you feel that you are useless and have no advantages, and lack confidence in yourself,

please stop and don’t think about it. Do something small, even if it’s just applying a screen protector to your phone. It will increase your self-confidence and give you more internal motivation.

Don’t be confused or scared. Every stage of life will have challenges to overcome. After all, facing challenges is a normal part of life.
Respect your own dreams. No one will ridicule your dreams. Everyone’s dreams are great to themselves. What you need to do is to increase your strength. Until your strength is enough, don’t go around talking about your dreams.
If you still haven’t pursued someone after turning twenty, please don’t be anxious. Just focus on yourself. When flowers bloom and butterflies come, believe in yourself.
This age is also the stage with the most energy. Studying is the main task.
You can have fun in college, but passing the basic English level 4 is the minimum requirement for studying. If you can’t even pass the minimum requirement, how can you have the perseverance to do anything in the future?
Consider and think about things from the perspective of interests, and you will become smarter and smarter. If you only consider problems from an emotional perspective, you will become more and more foolish.
Never reveal your trump card. Maintain your aura of mystery, and don’t go around telling the truth.

Speaking the truth can be fatal. Don’t reveal your trump card. When people know that you don’t have any resources, they won’t even come to you.

Like and follow me @人间清醒 (Awakening in the Human World), sharing my knowledge and insights on studying gray culture, interpersonal relationships, workplace dynamics, officialdom, business, and gift-giving etiquette.

Welcome like-minded people to join the group and exchange ideas together.

Learn interpersonal skills and change your destiny 30 years ahead.

How much allowance should you give your children?

University is not for learning knowledge; you can see who has changed their fate with the knowledge they learned in university. In Chinese universities, they can only teach you labor skills that require physical strength, allowing you to change your working environment from leaking roofs to air-conditioned offices.

The mission of a university is as follows:

Master basic non-physical labor skills (teachers can teach you this).
Learn first principles, philosophical thinking, and critical thinking (university teachers don’t possess these abilities; you need to discover them yourself).
Filter social circles, build relationships, find future business partners, employees, and investors or bosses (this is what the university platform can provide).
Find love (find a suitable partner from a similar background).

Why do people aim for Tsinghua University and Peking University? Is it because of their teaching abilities? Is it their research capabilities? No, it is not. They are far behind Massachusetts Institute of Technology, University of California, and Stanford. Tsinghua and Peking should only be regarded as preparatory schools for Tsinghua University and Peking University. The real purpose of aiming for Tsinghua and Peking is the platform they offer.

So, don’t constantly reduce your child’s living expenses. Instead, provide them with enough social expenses so they can build their own network during their time at university. With these resources, they can pave the way for their future. At the very least, it can reduce recruitment costs. When we recruit, it is difficult to fully understand a candidate in just half an hour, or even during the probation period. This incurs recruitment costs, time costs, and can also cause financial losses for the company. If we recruit classmates or alumni who have spent four years together, then the recruitment costs will be much lower.

Similarly, for children from disadvantaged backgrounds, making more friends means finding potential investors or bosses in the future. Nowadays, when university students graduate, they are already unemployed. If you make friends in university, it is very likely that you will enter your childhood friend’s family business after graduation or work for one of your classmates. In today’s society, once you have a job upon graduation, you have already surpassed 80% of the population.

Lastly, there is love, which is very important. You can tell your child that they are free to fall in love (boys, don’t make girls pregnant, and girls, don’t get pregnant). We won’t interfere with their freedom to date, but when it comes to marriage, they must find someone from a similar background.

Why can’t high education levels interact with the second generation of the wealthy?

Someone on Zhihu asked: Why can’t people with high education levels come into contact with the second generation of the wealthy?

You chose the wrong university. Harvard and Yale have countless children from wealthy families, while you won’t find any second-generation wealth in MIT, Stanford, or Berkeley.

The second generation of the wealthy study business, management, finance, economics, arts, and philosophy to take over family businesses.

You study engineering, computer science, civil engineering, bioengineering, or chemical engineering to have an impressive resume, strive for talent in the job market, and become a worker.

You are not on the same path, so you won’t meet. Even if you do meet, you won’t have much to talk about. They talk about the Renaissance, Baroque, and you talk about diode principles, concrete ratios, and catalyst effects.

A common situation that arises among STEM students is that they believe they are the best, superior to everyone else. Many second-generation affluent individuals were influenced by their parents from an early age and have high emotional intelligence, interpersonal skills, and decorum. If you spend a short amount of time with them, you won’t even know they are wealthy.

Cognitive Understanding of Education

For the post-2000 generation in China’s first-tier cities, their parents are often only children without siblings. As only children, they don’t have uncles, aunts, or cousins. What does this mean?

Their parents usually have at least one property, and they can inherit two properties from their grandparents or other relatives. This is the case for the majority of families.

Once married, if they find a suitable partner, the post-2000 couples will inherit a total of six properties from both families, usually with no mortgage remaining. This is not even considering other assets such as savings.

The post-2000 generation holds a very healthy balance sheet and is confident about the future.

Meanwhile, you are educating your children with a “worker” mindset, guiding them to follow the paths of regular people: go to school, listen, do homework, get a diploma, write resumes, and compete in the job market for low-level jobs. The only result of this is social decline. The assets you give to your children will be beyond their control. Their careers as workers cannot increase the assets you have accumulated for them; instead, those assets will diminish.

This reminds me of the 1950s and 1960s when we sent middle school graduates to work in the northwest of China for the support of the nuclear and missile programs. After they started working, they would simultaneously teach and work because there was a shortage of personnel. Even in the 1970s and 1980s, talents were scarce. Not to mention university graduates, there was a shortage of associate degree holders. Large-scale state-owned enterprises would be content if they could recruit associate degree holders. They often hired people and allowed them to work while studying through correspondence courses or study abroad programs.

What about now? There are 11.58 million unemployed university graduates. What if you don’t work? There are plenty of people willing to work.

Take a look at our job responsibilities. Do we really need such high levels of education? For example, in a hospital, does the doctor who places a test tube inside a centrifuge, presses a button, and waits 15 minutes for the results really need a doctorate? Can’t a janitor do that job?

Many middle-class parents have seen their assets increase, but their understanding hasn’t changed. They still have a worker mentality because they benefited from the educational dividend. They were able to find decent jobs through education and achieved class mobility. They believe that education can change their fate, but is this really the case?

Remember: it is not the children who are eliminated by education, but the parents who lack educational awareness. Shouldn’t you reconsider how to educate your children?

Ineffective Rat Race

Most of the knowledge we are taught in education is ineffective. Look around you; the more obedient the child, the worse they perform in life. On the other hand, the underachievers in class often end up turning their lives around. Why? Because 80% of the knowledge taught in university is ineffective (without practical use), obsolete (has lost its relevance), and outdated. If you spend time learning this knowledge, it will consume your precious time. Whether you learn it or not, it won’t affect your future employment.

Why is outdated knowledge still being taught in universities? Because Chinese academics have job security; they also face issues with knowledge iteration and fixed thinking. Universities cannot fire them, and they hold the decision-making power in education. Thus, they will continue teaching outdated knowledge because their job security allows them to do so. They lack the motivation to update their knowledge and instead pass on obsolete knowledge to the next generation of academics. Their primary concern is how to recruit students, and the relevance of the content they teach to society and businesses is not important.

Therefore, intelligent people know where to focus and which knowledge to prioritize or disregard.

How much living expenses will you give to your child?

I will let my child get a driver’s license and drive to school. As for living expenses, it is up to them, as long as it is reasonable. However, I will examine whether the expenses they incur are reasonable and manage my child’s expenses from an investor’s perspective. I am investing in you, so you must be accountable to the investor. You need to explain to me why you are spending in a certain way and convince me to provide additional investment.

One: Learning

Summary: Importance of studying and planning for further education or career.

Two: Life

Summary: Tips for a comfortable and respectful dorm life.

Three: Relationships

Summary: Importance of being selective in relationships and valuing meaningful connections.

Four: Friends

Summary: Importance of being mindful of one’s words and actions and finding like-minded friends.

Five: Work

Summary: Importance of competitive credentials for job seekers.

Six: Safety

Summary: Recommendations for personal safety and awareness.

Seven: Encouragement

Summary: Encouragement to embrace personal growth and pursue opportunities without limits. Section 1: Academic Life

1. University: An incomplete university is one where you haven’t put in the effort to study!!!

The belief that “university life is easy” that was instilled during high school is completely wrong when it comes to university. Moreover, the idea that failing courses is something to be celebrated is complete nonsense. The notion that studying is useless is a lie. You must believe that studying not only enriches your mind, but also enriches you materially. Let’s not even talk about the money you can earn from a job. Just the subsidies and housing allowances that each city offers to university/graduate/doctoral students are already worth thousands.

2. Prepare early for postgraduate exams, recommendations, and job hunting

In an era of population dividend, economic downturn, scarcity of resources, ongoing epidemic, intense competition, devaluation of degrees, and flexible employment, it is especially important for a student with average abilities, average family background, and average opportunities to survive in this ultra-competitive society. Either you give up and go with the flow, or you have to improve your abilities to surpass others through your efforts.

This is especially true for those who didn’t do well on the college entrance examination or are from provinces with intense competition. Don’t give up and lose hope just because your undergraduate studies didn’t go well. Remember, university is only one stage of your life. If you’re not satisfied, then rely on your current efforts to change your future: prepare early for work, postgraduate studies, or civil service examinations. Success is not guaranteed even if you work hard, but if you don’t work hard, success is definitely out of reach.

If you want to find a job directly, you need to improve your communication skills and technical skills, participate in competitions, get certified, and do internships.
If you want to pursue postgraduate studies, you need to start working hard from the first year, get top grades, not only to qualify for postgraduate studies, but also to receive various scholarships every year and achieve financial independence.
If you want to take the postgraduate entrance examination, you need to understand the examination process and information as early as possible, search for relevant materials, excel in English, mathematics, and major courses in the first two years, lay a foundation for the postgraduate entrance examination, and focus on preparing for the exam in the last two years of your undergraduate studies to achieve high scores.

If you want to get early information about postgraduate entrance examinations but don’t have a channel, you can actually sign up for the free course “Postgraduate Entrance Examination Freshmen Sneak Peek Plan” on Zhihu ZhiXueTang’s official website. It’s completely free and they will provide you with various materials for postgraduate entrance examination preparation, including the “Postgraduate Entrance Examination School Information Package” to help you choose the right school and major, and teachers who will answer your questions and provide guidance and a “Year-round High Score Study Plan for Political Science and English in the Postgraduate Entrance Examination” to help you plan ahead, improve efficiency, and reduce confusion.

3. Major: You only have three opportunities to change your major during university

The first opportunity is when you apply for majors during the college entrance examination.
The second opportunity is in the first year of university when you can apply for a change of major.
The third opportunity is when you take a different major in the postgraduate entrance examination.

Therefore, when choosing a major, you must be cautious. Many regret choosing the wrong major in university, and lack the initiative to make a change, causing them to sink deeper into a quagmire and find it difficult to extricate themselves. If you want to change your major, you must be decisive, work hard, and not procrastinate!!!

4. Avoid failing courses at all costs:

In the short term, if you fail a course, you will need to invest time to retake it and even pay hundreds of dollars in retake fees. You will also be unable to apply for scholarships or join the Communist Party.
In the long term, when you apply for jobs, you will have to fill in the details of the courses you failed for each company you apply to, and during interviews, you will be asked why you failed those courses.

Therefore, it is important not to fail courses. A university where you have not failed any courses is perfect.

5. Joining the Communist Party:

Although university is the easiest time to join the Communist Party, it becomes much more difficult after graduation. However, I still advise you to think carefully about why you want to join the Communist Party. If you choose to join, you must fulfill your obligations and be aware that party members should step forward and take responsibility when encountering problems.

Note: Some jobs prioritize party members during recruitment and may even have restrictions on party membership.

Section 2: Life

6. Praise others more: It is a reflection of emotional intelligence, and your relationship with others is often a mirror. Treat others sincerely, and they will treat you sincerely.

For example, if you give me a free upvote, not only will I receive the greatest recognition, but the system will also continue to recommend more high-quality answers to you.

7. University’s public washing machines: Think of them like electric kettles in hotels. Avoid using them if possible!

Nobody knows what others have washed in them:

Dirty socks, underwear, and shoes are just the tip of the iceberg.
In the comments section, people have claimed to have washed “personal items”.
The answer even mentions someone washing laboratory clothes, which poses a safety issue.

So if you have to use the washing machine, make sure to use the self-cleaning function beforehand.

8. Everyone has their own personal space: Let go of curiosity and respect others' lives

In university life, living in a shared dormitory is an inevitable experience. Therefore, you must learn how to create a comfortable living space in a dormitory with multiple people. The most important thing is to not be excessively curious about others' lives and constantly bombard your roommates with questions from morning till night. Learn to respect others' lives.

In both male and female dormitories, reasonable and considerate people are the majority (the quality of university students speaks for itself), and there are rarely twisted relationships where four roommates have six group chats. Therefore, if roommates are accommodating, helpful, and respectful to each other, they can generally have a good experience living in a dormitory.

9. Trash cans:

It is recommended that each dormitory have its own trash can to prevent unnecessary conflicts. Similarly, this applies to other daily necessities in the dormitory, such as toilet paper. Use your own things and not the belongings of others, and also don’t let others use your belongings.

10. Haircuts:

Getting a haircut at school is generally fine, but you should be cautious about hair salons outside of campus. There are many tricks and they can charge you a lot of money. Don’t be forced to spend money and don’t buy expensive haircut cards to prevent salons from closing down.

Section 3: Relationships

11. Luck is more important than a pregnancy scare

You can look forward to love, but don’t casually agree to someone’s request for a romantic relationship, and definitely don’t easily agree to sharing a room together.

Remember, only time will reveal a person’s true self. Finding the right person to be in a relationship with is more important than just finding someone. Love without responsibility, commitment, and planning is just pleasure.

12. Love: A romantic and wonderful love during your youth is a blessing in life

So, if you meet someone you like, I suggest you make a move. Let me share with you the experience of a senior: While talking and chatting is important, actions speak louder. Take action and show your determination (this will impress people more). If you don’t meet someone you like, there’s no need to force a relationship. The person who loves you will appear a little later. The senior himself found his beloved girlfriend while pursuing his master’s degree.

Ps: We should not pursue love out of boredom, loneliness, or emptiness. Nor should we pursue love solely for the sake of physical pleasure. The beauty of love lies in loving, protecting, and accompanying each other.

Section 4: Friends

12. Be cautious with your words and actions

Do not gossip or speak ill of absent classmates, especially behind their backs. Otherwise, there’s a chance that one day you will become the subject of such talk.

13. It’s not about finding friends first and then moving forward, but rather finding friends as you move forward

Changing a person is difficult. The easiest way is to continue on your own path and find like-minded classmates to be friends with, so that you can encourage and improve each other.

14. Appropriate socializing: No need to intentionally distance yourself from others or forcefully try to fit in perfectly

Life is not a binary choice; you don’t have to go from one extreme to another. Furthermore, being isolated does not necessarily mean you are excellent, and being alone does not mean you are not sociable.

As long as you understand the purpose of your solitude, and know that you are doing something valuable, there is no need to worry about gossip. Also, there is no need to feel ashamed of enjoying solitude. In fact, social norms and ineffective socializing are not as important as they may seem.

16. Group projects: Choosing the right group members is crucial

In a good group, members work together, cooperate, and complete high-quality assignments. However, in a bad group, it can become a nightmare where everyone is uncooperative and the work is of poor quality. In the end, you will have to single-handedly shoulder the burden that should have been shared with your group members.

Section 5: Work

19. What employers value when job hunting

Employers value how many competitions you have participated in and how many certificates you have obtained, rather than your involvement in certain departments of student organizations (with the exception of being the president), let alone your participation in various interest clubs.

Ps: The actual situation in the student organizations/clubs you participate in may be very different from what you imagine. Most likely, you will end up being a free labor force, especially in student organizations. However, some universities have well-developed student organizations that provide more opportunities for learning and skill development. These are worth trying.

20. Certificates to obtain in university: Is it more interesting than playing games and overcoming game levels?

Graduation certificate
CET-4/6 (TOEFL/IELTS optional)
Teaching qualification certificate
Driver’s license
Computer Level 2
Other certificates

Section 6: Safety

17. HPV vaccine

The key is whether you have received the vaccine or not, rather than whether it is a bivalent or nonavalent vaccine.

If you can get the nonavalent vaccine, then go for it. If not, the bivalent vaccine is better than nothing.
The only reason is that early vaccination ensures safety and prevents cervical cancer.

18. Increase awareness of fraud and danger: Guard your own interests, losing money is insignificant compared to losing your life

For example (not limited to these situations):

Property safety:

Do not believe in any marketing schemes such as brushing orders.
Be cautious of door-to-door sales.
Avoid any kind of online loans (not to mention “nude loans”).
Do not pay attention to free gifts from salespeople you encounter while shopping.

Personal safety: Pay attention to new types of scams

Beware of situations like being lured into a shop or asked to help in a secluded place on the roadside. These situations may involve abduction or, at worst, they will try to extort money from you.
This applies especially to girls. People have hidden intentions and it is not advised to underestimate the maliciousness of others with your own kindness. Do not accept water from strangers on the street and avoid putting yourself in potentially dangerous situations.
This also includes going out with a boyfriend. If you are not comfortable, it is better to not share a hotel room with your boyfriend. Moreover, it is important to practice safe sex and avoid unplanned pregnancies.

Section 7: Encouragement

21. Good luck will happen

I’ll let you in on a little secret: people who upvote me will have their recent dilemma resolved smoothly. Good things will happen within a month. Shh…

22. Focus on personal growth and minimize ineffective actions

You can play games and seek entertainment, but remember not to indulge too much and let it occupy all your spare time. Refuse excessive and ineffective growth. Personal development is more valuable.

23. The longboard theory

Take advantage of the long duration of university and learn to excel in a skill that has long-term development prospects. With this advantage, you can go far. For example:

Excel software skills
PowerPoint design skills
Writing skills
Video editing
Experience in operating self-media

24. Don’t limit yourself:

Don’t set limits on yourself. University has a long duration and low cost of trial and error. So be brave and try new things. Put your ideas into practice.

25. If this has inspired you, please take a second to give a little affirmation. That would be the greatest recognition for me, and we will also be good friends in the future. If it hasn’t inspired you, then I apologize for asking for affirmation, and it’s okay if we’re not friends!

I am @南湾已秋. I wish you all a wonderful, magnificent, romantic, and fulfilling university life!!!

Keep Calm and Be Determined

A sentence I really like: “Life holds the anticipation of piercing through the autumn water, and there will also be unexpected joys.”

University life is so precious, so why get caught up in trivial matters? Find enjoyment in idleness, find value in busyness.

Don’t waste time daydreaming; be clear about your goals, act quickly, do more with less, always smile, understand contentment, don’t envy others, don’t seek approval from others, complain less, be more positive. Excel in work that keeps you neither busy nor idle, live a vibrant life.

—- Your roommate could either be your best friend for life or a stranger you live with for four years.

But regardless, there’s no need to become enemies. Don’t discuss absent roommates behind their back with any of your roommates, because you never know if they will betray you in the next second.

—- Maintain your temper and standards.

Being taken advantage of once is naive, but being continuously taken advantage of means you’re just being foolish.

—- It’s necessary to learn English.

Many people say, “There’s an increasing number of people who know English now, so it’s not as valuable.” Since so many people are learning, if you don’t know English, wouldn’t you be even less competitive? Most companies prefer people who know English and are willing to provide more opportunities.

Some universities only grant degrees to those who pass the College English Test Band 4 or Band 6, and this is reasonable. It doesn’t matter if your foundation is weak; study the previous year’s test questions thoroughly, dissecting each sentence and word. Analyze complex and difficult sentences with the help of diagrams. If you don’t understand a sentence, keep rereading until you do.

For the listening section, use the QR code in the test book to listen to the audio and use the accompanying workbook to look up words and grammar. After going through it once, I basically had no problems.

—- Don’t broadcast things you haven’t achieved.

For example, if you plan to be in the top ten of your class at the end of the semester, don’t post pictures of yourself studying on social media until you’re close to reaching that goal. When you do achieve it, everyone will praise you. If you announce it before you’ve done it, everyone will think you’re just an empty talker.

—- Don’t take part-time jobs solely for the purpose of making money.

If the part-time job doesn’t contribute to your personal growth, it’s just a waste of your time. It turns you into an inexpensive labor force without any intelligence. Instead, spend that time reading more books. Choose part-time jobs that can enhance your abilities and improve your employability.

—- The dormitory is a place for sleeping, not for lazily lying down all day.

When you don’t have classes, go to the library, go for a run, explore the city you’re in, or take a class to develop your skills. Complaining about how boring life is while eating takeout in your dormitory, not knowing what to do, is a waste. There are plenty of things you can do, but you’re just unwilling to do them, choosing to hide in your comfort zone and be lazy.

On windy days, learn to dance with the wind; when it rains, learn to hold your own umbrella.

The best state for human beings is calm and resolute.

“We often say that someone has style, someone exudes charisma. I think one of the key reasons why someone has style and charisma is that their core is very stable, calm and resolute.”

These people possess a kind of “cruel beauty”; they are rational and self-consistent. They can let go as easily as they hold on. They are calm, resolute, and focused on themselves, growing to love themselves more and more.

“They don’t care about conventional or eccentric actions in the public eye. They only focus on what is effective and always do things that are effective. They do effective things, even if these things seem very eccentric to the public. They do fewer ineffective things, even if these things seem normal to the public.”

Being resolute means knowing what I have to do, having a clear understanding of the impact of succeeding or failing in that matter.

We can embrace the best results and withstand the worst consequences.

Let’s encourage and inspire each other!

The Best State of University Life: Embrace Being Ordinary

The most pathetic group of people in college: average-looking, from ordinary backgrounds, without any special talents or hobbies, always on the sidelines during group activities…

Help!! Wasn’t that me in the past too? But actually, most people are just average. It’s okay to admit that you’re ordinary.

Later on, I got into my ideal graduate school and have been gradually improving! I realized that the best state to be in during college is:

① Don’t show off.

② Find a sport you love and stick to exercising.

③ Prepare a bank card and save money! National scholarships: 8000; National inspiration scholarships: 5000; Merit scholarships: 1000-3000 depending on the level; School-level scholarships: 500-3000 depending on the level; Student aid (for disadvantaged students): 2800-6000 depending on the level; Part-time jobs at the school’s career guidance center/library management: 200-300/month; Occasional part-time jobs: 1000-2000 depending on the job!

④ College years are the best time for beauty and grooming: learn skincare, fashion, makeup, fitness, posture adjustment… Spend your boring time on improving yourself!

⑤ Get rid of “shame”: shame in studying/taking things seriously, shame in going on stage, shame in saving money, shame in wearing makeup… These are not mistakes. Just be yourself without worries! This world is busy, what you obsess over, others might not even notice. Tell yourself a few times a day: “I don’t have so many spectators,” “I am super confident!”

⑥ Master office skills early: PPT, Excel, Word. You’ll see the benefits after graduation.

⑦ Pass the CET-4 (College English Test Band 4) in your first year. The less foundation you have from high school, the harder it gets! One vocabulary book is enough. Focus on the key words in the CET-4 vocabulary.

⑧ Never talk badly about one roommate to another. Wait until they gather together one day, and you’ll become the clown!

⑨ When it comes to money between roommates, keep track of it! Even if it’s just 1 RMB, pay it back!

⑩ Go to the library and study with confidence! Read more books when you have nothing to do. By the time you graduate, you’ll surpass your peers!

①① You don’t have to force yourself to become extroverted. There’s nothing wrong with being introverted, but when you need to speak up, be brave! “A gentleman may be inwardly reserved but not weak. When faced with something unjust, one must speak up!”

①② If a classmate asks to borrow money, borrow as little as possible, or better yet, don’t borrow at all! There are many cases where borrowing money strains relationships.

①③ It’s better to fail a course than to cheat!!

①④ Fitting in doesn’t mean you’ll truly belong to a circle. Some people’s circles will never include you, and the circle that accepts you doesn’t require you to compromise. Don’t change yourself into someone you don’t like just to please others.

①⑤ Enrich your “campus experiences.” Short videos, gaming, binge-watching, hanging out at bars—these activities can be done at home, so there’s no need to spend tens of thousands of dollars to do them elsewhere. When we say “campus experiences,” we mean: scholarships, English CET-4 and CET-6, computer proficiency exams, student union, interest clubs, competitions, and activities.