How to Deal with Career Burnout at 35 Afraid to Quit, Yet Tired of Going to Work

Increasing Income from Side Jobs

Most of the time, it’s all about money. The key is to find the right solution.

Reluctance to Quit:

It is because the pressure of life is indeed great, with car loans, mortgages, children, elderly parents, and basic living expenses of the family. In the city, this is a significant monthly expenditure. If one stops working and loses the source of income, the majority of professionals cannot handle it. Even for middle and senior managers earning a monthly salary of thirty to fifty thousand, or even top executives earning an annual salary of one to two million, when facing the tremendous living costs without a stable source of income, they still feel exhausted and unable to cope, lacking a sense of security.

Tired of Working:

This is normal, considering that people face immense pressure in their careers as they reach middle age. The boss, clients, market, products, competition, rivals, marketing, costs, team, projects, research and development, progress… all these accumulate and wear oneself out. What’s more crucial is that there may be a significant disparity between one’s efforts and rewards. Sometimes, even after exerting 120% effort, the results achieved are minimal. Often, the outcome of one’s work is beyond one’s control, and one cannot take ownership of the achievements. The lack of control results in a feeling of powerlessness.

In this manner, after years of work, all ambitions and passions are gradually eroded by time, and one becomes exhausted with work.

In front of the boss, one has to endure like a son, In front of clients, one has to compromise like a grandson, In front of subordinates, now the post-95s and post-2000s are beginning to reform the workplace, and one cannot easily impose pressure on young people. If they quit, one will have to support everything alone.

Being caught in between the middle and lower levels is like being a “sandwich cookie.” On the surface, others see oneself as dignified, sometimes even glorious, and the income is also decent. However, only oneself is aware of the hardships and rewards.

This current situation cannot be changed in a short period, and even improving it is difficult. It will continue like this in the visible future, just like walking on a path of no return.

In such circumstances:

Escaping from the workplace becomes a potential idea for many professionals. The main reason why this idea cannot be realized is, in essence, a matter of money. Because once one leaves the workplace, the majority also loses the source of income. There are methods to improve this problem, such as having other sources of income apart from one’s main job. Even without considering the income level from the main job, there would be no fear of leaving.

Some people jokingly say that having a side job is the ultimate destination of a career.

Although exaggerated, to some extent, a side job does increase one’s survivability, diversify income sources, and reduce reliance on the main job.

Many people may wonder, rightly so, but how can I pursue a side job? How can I have an additional income?

There are many methods, which can be broadly categorized into three major types:

Related to one’s main job Related to personal interests and hobbies Other endeavors one is interested in trying

First: Related to one’s main job.

The simplest one is to share your real stories, experiences, methods, and skills related to your industry and job on platforms like Zhihu (a Chinese question-and-answer website similar to Quora). Once your answers are included in the “Zhi Time” program, you will have an income. If your experiences and skills are valuable, and your experiences can serve as references for your peers, people will consult and seek advice from you, and paid consultations will become another source of income. Besides Zhihu, you can share on other platforms as well, creating a personal brand and shaping your professional value.

Second: Related to personal interests and hobbies.

You must have seen a lot on Zhihu and other platforms: travel guides, photography sharing, food tutorials, book reviews, sports and fitness, and so on. These shares are not all from professionals; the majority of them are based on personal interests and hobbies. In this era of self-media and the dominance of traffic, your interests and hobbies will surely attract like-minded individuals, gain followers, and engage in exchanges. Traffic means money, and when it reaches a certain level, it becomes a business value.

Third: Other things you are interested in trying but have not taken action on.

There must be many: Things that people around you are doing, or things that you see others doing and find fresh, interesting, and curious, but maybe you haven’t done them or don’t know how to do them. You can try them out.

The Three Benefits of Having a Side Job:

First and foremost is an increase in income.

When we start to have an additional income from a side job, our sense of security about life and the future becomes higher. Our perception and attitude towards our current job will change.

Secondly, it changes our mindset and reshapes our personal values.

With an additional income, our time, energy, and focus in the side job are inevitably diverted from our main job. When our mental focus is not solely on work, the level of commitment to our job decreases. As a result, our expectations for the input-output ratio also decrease, and the gap in job satisfaction narrows. The feeling of fatigue in our work also diminishes because I haven’t put in as much, and therefore, my expectations are not as high.

Finally, it opens up more possibilities.

You will meet many people, encounter interesting souls, relieve your anxieties, broaden your horizons, and have a more diversified range of choices. At least, this is my experience. So, why won’t you give it a try?

Breaking the Barrier of Comfort Zone, Achieving Independent Life

You are a 35-year-old person trapped by work. You have a mortgage, a car loan, elderly parents, and young children who depend on you. You are burdened with the shackles of happiness, needing to carry the weight, needing a salary, needing income. You cannot clearly say whether you voluntarily allowed work to imprison you, but they are all indispensable to you.

In “The Overcoat,” Akaky Akakievich wished to spend his whole life hiding behind his coat, living out his remaining years in peace. However, even the slightest disturbance in reality left him powerless to resist.

You are trapped in this job, tired of going to work, but afraid to leave.

Staying in the “flowerpot” of your current job for too long, without experiencing the trials and tribulations of the natural world, will eventually cause you to lose the ability to grow.

Do not let yourself be trapped in your comfort zone, especially when your comfort zone is not comfortable at all.

Do you remember the character Brooks in the movie “The Shawshank Redemption”?

Brooks spent fifty years inside the prison library. His daily job consisted of delivering books to his fellow inmates, followed by comfortably dozing off in his chair.

He ate on schedule, slept on time, and did not need to rush about for a living. All the storms of life were firmly kept outside the high prison walls. Apart from freedom, Brooks' life seemed pretty good.

One day, Brooks, in his seventies, was granted parole, and life suddenly turned chaotic for him. After being released from prison, he completely lost the ability to survive independently and ended up taking his own life in anxiety and panic.

Life is unpredictable. The comfort you enjoy one second may bring utter devastation the next.

If you do not have the courage and ability to quit at any time, then you do not have the ability to resist risks. Who knows what will happen in the next second in this uncomfortable job?

If you don’t want to be eliminated by fate, you can only shatter the barriers of your comfort zone and actively plunge into the mighty waves to gain experience and become your own master.

May you have the courage and ability to quit at any time, as ability is your confidence. Comfort zones may not always be comfortable; life itself is a process of breaking and reshaping.

May everyone’s career have a PLAN B!

Breaking and remaking is what life is all about.

StarCraft: From Base Defense to Advanced Unit

At the end of the last century, a phenomenal game called StarCraft appeared.

It can be considered the first truly competitive game.

Back then, in college dormitories, almost 90% of those who played games were playing StarCraft.

At the beginning, no one knew how to play well.

The less skilled players loved defense, especially in the popular Lost Temple map, where the base was on a high ground with a slope, making it perfect for blocking.

So, the first move that most players learned was base blocking, defending and then counterattacking.

Once, I got tired of base blocking and decided to try a new strategy.

I chose the Zerg race and went for a 6 Hatchling strategy, where I only focused on producing Zerglings and nothing else.

Because the Zerglings were so fast, they broke through the enemy’s defenses before they could even block properly.

This strategy alone allowed me to dominate the game and earned me the nickname “Dog King”.

Unfortunately, the good times didn’t last long as someone found a way to counter it.

They knew I was going for Zerglings, so they skipped scouting with their workers and even skipped producing Zealots, the aggressive Protoss units. Instead, they went straight for Dragons (Dragoons) and Siege Tanks, long-range units, and even built aircraft.

That’s when I was completely lost.

My strategy was countered, so I had to change my approach and started combining Zerglings with Hydralisks.

This new strategy worked for a while as well.

If I couldn’t win with one wave, I would upgrade my Zerglings and Hydralisks and go for a second wave.

After all, these units were cheap, and if I had enough of them, I could eventually overwhelm my opponent.

But then someone learned about the Terran strategy of using Tanks and Vultures with Spider Mines to create a defensive line. That’s when I was completely dumbfounded.

Even with three attack and three defense upgrades, my Zerglings and Hydralisks would be blown up into pools of blood while the enemy remained unscathed.

Out of desperation, I had no choice but to tech up, producing Lurkers and Mutalisks.

But then the enemy also teched up, building anti-air defenses, producing Goliaths and Dark Templars.

What could I do?

I had no choice but to continue to tech up, producing Ultralisks, Scourges, and Guardians.

In the end, Dogs (Zerglings) became completely useless and a waste of resources. At least I had to produce Hydralisks…

Do you know why StarCraft became such a phenomenal game?

Because it was complex enough.

You could never win matches relying solely on basic units. It was only when unit combinations became complex enough that opponents couldn’t easily figure out counter-strategies. That’s why players tirelessly developed countless new tactics.

StarCraft can even reflect many phenomena in the real world.

For example, why is the internet so sluggish? On one hand, there are massive layoffs, yet on the other hand, companies are still hiring, average salaries are not significantly reduced, and some positions even see an increase?

Before the pandemic, the internet was like players in the early days of StarCraft, not highly skilled. It was all about brute force, whoever had the fastest Dog rush or the most Dogs would win.

In the competition between two platforms, the one that launched new features first could impress investors and secure funding.

And these features were all basic, not requiring advanced technology. Writing this kind of code was no different for someone who went to Beida Qingniao or Beida Computer Science.

So the only thing that mattered was having a large workforce. The more people you had, the faster you could write the code.

Write it fast, secure funding, and then hire more developers to write more code.

A fresh move dominates the scene.

Most things go through a phase of barbaric growth in their early development, but it’s usually limited to the initial stage.

After the pandemic, the development of basic features is almost completed, the low-hanging fruits have been picked, and the era of internet dividends has passed. Now, the industry is entering deep waters.

This is where the difference between Beida Qingniao and Beida Computer Science comes into play.

If you ask them to write an order delivery feature, their output would probably not differ much.

At the very least, if you upgrade your Dogs' attack and defense, they might run wild for a while.

But if you ask them to write an algorithm for order matching, it’s like a mad dog encountering a tank. Even with upgraded attack and defense, it won’t work.

And now, internet companies are facing more and more of these tanks.

What can they do?

They can only send the little Dogs to their deaths and free up resources to produce Hydralisks.

If the Hydralisks aren’t enough, produce Lurkers. If Lurkers aren’t enough, produce Ultralisks.

In short, more and more advanced units are needed to break through the tank line.

But advanced units don’t come cheap. The price of one Ultralisk is equivalent to dozens of little Dogs.

However, it’s worth it. Without the enemy, even if you have more little Dogs to rush in, it’s useless.

The era of mobile internet is coming to an end, and the only option left is to tech up.

The demand for people will decrease, but only at the grassroots level. They might even be replaced by AI.

However, the demand for high-end talent will increase, and their salaries will go up.

The days of indiscriminate flooding are gone, and the curtains of polarization are being drawn.

Fortunately, in the real world, little Dogs can level up to become Elephants, and Elephants can also be downgraded to little Dogs.

Looking at the pools of blood on the ground, caused by the bombings of the little Dogs, wouldn’t that inspire you a little?

Anyway, you won’t read this even if I bookmark it. Just give it a like, that would be enough…

Characteristics of occupational burnout and methods to overcome it

The clearer you are about the purpose of your life, the more energetic you will be every day. This is a line from the book “From Burnout to Breakthrough”.

Similarly, the clearer you are about the purpose of your work, the more energetic you will be every day, and you will be able to break through the period of occupational burnout.

The book “From Burnout to Breakthrough” summarizes three characteristics of occupational burnout:

1. Feeling of exhaustion or mental fatigue
2. Desiring to escape and working with negative emotions
3. Decreased professional competence

You can self-check against these characteristics. After “diagnosing” yourself with occupational burnout, how can you overcome it? How can you achieve a breakthrough?

✅ Take care of your body

Your body never lies; it sends you signals.

1. Ensure enough sleep, put away your phone, and close your eyes to sleep!
2. Avoid prolonged sitting, get moving!
3. Ensure adequate hydration (reference: 1.9 liters)

✅ Where did you invest your energy?

Do a CAT scan on yourself:

Check: Examine what occupies your time; Assess: Evaluate why and how these things occupy your time, and whether they are valuable; Take: Take action (remedy, avoid, modify, or accept).

✅ Reflect on Yourself and the Present Situation

The mind is a great deceiver, tricking you into yearning for the past, worrying about the future, and preventing you from focusing on and living in the present.

Anxiety, tension, unease, pressure, and troubles… all of our fears stem from an excessive focus on the future at the expense of the present.

Don’t become paralyzed by the past; no matter how good it was, you cannot go back. Don’t fixate on the future and disregard the present; you won’t have the future you desire.

✅ Pay Attention to Your “Words”

Stop saying “I have to…” and start saying “I choose…”. Language creates suggestions for us; words become flesh, and you will live according to what you say.

No matter how difficult your current situation may appear to you, you have the power of choice, and there are areas that you can change.

✅Developing distinctive strengths and leading your career

If you can’t find a job you like, why not try to appreciate the lovable aspects of your current job?

Give your job meaning and turn it into a career. The purpose of a job is to earn a salary, while the purpose of a career is to enrich your life.

In fact, regardless of the age group, the fundamental reason why people are afraid to quit is money.

If you are feeling tired and bored in your job, why not start researching and practicing how to make money?

When you have channels for long-term income that can earn you even more money than your job, you will no longer be afraid to quit. If you are tired of working, then don’t work. The so-called professional burnout will naturally disappear.

Of course, in this situation, you can also choose not to quit. Treat your job as a side business, maintain a calm mindset, don’t take things too seriously, and view all the office politics and conflicts as if you were watching a play. Focus on developing your own money-making ventures, strive to make them bigger and stronger.

Overcoming Boredom

Boredom can stem from two reasons: first, having nothing to do and not knowing what to do; second, erroneously investing time and energy into “false” problems.

The former is relatively easy to solve. One needs to make an effort to find interesting and valuable things to do. If one can find a state of “flow,” then the feeling of boredom can be eradicated. If at a loss for what to do, start with activities that can easily bring pleasure, such as watching movies, playing games, or chatting with friends.

The latter is a bit more troublesome because it requires redirecting attention away from the current “problems”.

We mistakenly believe that following the rules and continuing along the path paved by our predecessors is sufficient. Hence, many people work the “996” or even “007” schedule. Though they may receive material rewards, they still feel “bored” and “uninteresting”.

Following the rules has one benefit: it allows us to “avoid pondering over what truly matters.” For example, questions like “What kind of life do I truly want?” or “What kind of work can be considered a vocation?” By following the established order, one can certainly experience a certain level of “ease” and “effortlessness”.

But as a cost, one experiences “boredom” and even “anxiety” and “depression”.

To overcome boredom, one needs to “allocate time for thinking about real problems.” This requires enough “courage” and “wisdom.” “Do you dare to challenge the existing order of life?” “Do you have methods to carve out some personal time from a busy work schedule?”

“Mooching off work” is actually a compromise, as it does not require breaking the existing “work norm” since most people still need to work to support their families. However, in a busy work schedule, one can try to squeeze out some personal time to browse “Zhihu,” “Weibo,” or “Xiaohongshu.” If willing, one can even try “reading” or “writing,” or think about what kind of “side business” one can pursue. Undoubtedly, these are all ways to “not be bored.” This can be exemplified by “Liu Cixin’s experience of mooching off work at the Niangzi Pass Power Plant while writing ‘The Three-Body Problem.'”

Of course, you need to be cautious and preferably not be discovered by your superiors or colleagues.

Challenges in Middle-Aged Career Life

Middle-aged professionals have it tough in the workplace! The main reason why they are reluctant to quit is probably because they need the income to cover expenses such as mortgage payments, childcare, and supporting their parents. However, everyone has their own hobbies and ways of doing things. It is only natural for one to become tired of a job that has become too familiar and routine, even if they are good at it. Who can maintain passion and enthusiasm when faced with unchanging work?

Although we understand this, the current situation has not changed. What should be done?

As someone who has experienced and successfully overcome this situation in middle-aged career life, I would like to share a few methods with you:

1. Actively broaden the boundaries of your current work. When you can handle all your current tasks well, you can be a little more daring and ask your supervisor for more “advanced” work. This will be a skill improvement for you and a cost-effective way for your supervisor and company to gain more benefits. It’s a win-win situation.

You may think that this is too idealistic and that your boss would never give you a task you haven’t done before. Or you may worry that if you take the initiative to ask for more work, your boss will overload you with it. However, these concerns are just your own worries. How would you know if you don’t try? At the same time, you don’t have to be a pushover and let your boss take advantage of you. You can discuss boundaries and find mutually beneficial solutions with your supervisor. If you are unlucky enough to encounter an unscrupulous manager, you can also “look for other opportunities while riding a donkey” within the company or externally. Right?

2. Give new meaning to the familiar work you have done in the past. There is a classic example: two people are laying bricks to build a house—one considers it as just moving bricks, while the other sees it as building a house, creating a home, and constructing a foundation for others’ happiness. You see, your perception creates your reality, and how you “think” about your work can completely change your work experience.

Even if you are only assisting your supervisor by “affixing” invoices, if you pay attention to the total amount of the invoices and where the expenses go, you can understand your supervisor’s work style and the direction of business development. It all depends on whether you have put your “heart” into it. Don’t limit yourself to just being an invoice assistant. You actually have unlimited possibilities in the future.

3. If your motivation for your current job is insufficient, supplement it with a side business. Sometimes, as one reaches middle age, they value stability. Combined with their naturally stable personality, they don’t like to shake things up. Although they may feel a sense of weariness in their current job, they still do it diligently, but it doesn’t require much effort. In this situation, you can consider developing a “stable” side business based on your personal interests.

For example, a friend of mine who started working in a large corporation right after graduation is an engineer. He is dedicated to his work and expands his knowledge in the field as required by the company. However, these are tasks that he can easily complete with a little time and effort. The income is good, but he lacks a sense of challenge. After nearly 10 years in this job, he feels a sense of weariness and has no desire for promotion or managing others. In his spare time, he plays badminton and is a key member of the company’s badminton team, winning trophies at the annual employee friendship matches. He teaches his own child to play badminton, and his child admires him greatly, making him the envy of his classmates.

In this way, my engineer friend started teaching badminton to children in his community during his free time. From initially teaching out of enthusiasm to later being voluntarily paid by parents, his role as a “badminton coach” has expanded to the neighboring community. Young people also pay him to learn. This side business gives him a sense of accomplishment and provides some additional income, effectively alleviating his weariness with his full-time job.

In fact, there are many other methods to resolve difficulties based on specific circumstances. The key is to improve self-awareness, enhance knowledge, and be brave in exploring and trying new things. Solutions are always more numerous than problems.

If you feel that you are facing difficulties and genuinely want to solve them, you are welcome to click on the card below to communicate with me one-on-one.

I am a senior career development consultant based in Shanghai, wishing every middle-aged professional a successful career and a happy life.

Causes of Career Burnout and Solutions

As work pressure increases for professionals in the workplace, many 35-year-old career professionals are experiencing symptoms of career burnout. For example, they work long hours, face tedious and heavy workloads, and feel physically and mentally exhausted, losing their past enthusiasm for their jobs. This phenomenon not only affects their work efficiency but also poses a serious threat to their physical and mental health. They desire to change the situation but cannot find a way out. How should they deal with this predicament?

Lao Wang believes that we should first analyze the causes of career burnout. Based on Lao Wang’s observations of the workplace, the reasons are as follows:

1. Increased work pressure is the main internal cause of career burnout. Nowadays, the workplace is highly competitive and demanding, putting many professionals under tremendous work pressure and even leaving them in a constantly tense state, which easily leads to feelings of fatigue and exhaustion.

2. Career development bottlenecks are also important factors contributing to career burnout. When a person remains stagnant in a certain position or field, they may lose their motivation and passion, resulting in feelings of career burnout.

3. External factors such as work environment, interpersonal relationships, and work-life balance also have an impact on career burnout.

Therefore, to solve the problem of career burnout, how should we proceed? Lao Wang gives a few suggestions for your reference:

1. It is crucial to adjust one’s mindset. We can try to think positively, seek the fun and significance in our work, and see work as a path to realizing our dreams and values. At the same time, we should learn to relax and regulate our emotions, which can be achieved through exercising, meditating, and other methods to relieve stress and fatigue.

2. Seek help from professional teachers. Psychologists or career development consultants can provide us with professional guidance and support, helping us clarify our thoughts and find methods and strategies to solve problems.

3. If you find that your current job no longer ignites your passion and motivation, consider exploring new career development directions. We can broaden our career paths by learning new skills, taking training courses, or trying new fields of work.

In conclusion, when facing career burnout, we should take proactive action, adjust our mindset, seek appropriate support and opportunities in order to regain our enthusiasm and motivation for work.