Can you completely avoid touching your phone during an entire meal?
Whether one can refrain from using their phone during meals depends on the specific situation, environment, and people involved. While it’s ideal to focus on eating and socializing during shared meals, the ubiquity of smartphones in modern life can make it challenging to completely avoid them, even if only to check the time or urgent messages.
In today’s digital age, smartphones have become an integral part of daily life for most people in China and around the world. We use them for a myriad of tasks - communication, work, entertainment, shopping, scheduling, and more. This constant connection can make it difficult to fully step away from our devices, even for the duration of a meal.
When eating alone, many people find it almost impossible not to pull out their phone for some form of distraction or stimulation, whether it’s watching videos, browsing social media, reading articles, or playing games. The silence and solitude of a meal by oneself often leads to seeking the company of the internet and social networks. In this case, the phone provides a much-needed escape from awkward loneliness.
However, the calculus changes when dining with others, be they family, friends, colleagues or clients. In these social situations, basic etiquette dictates giving full attention to one’s companions and engaging in conversation, as opposed to burying one’s nose in a phone. It’s considered rude and disrespectful to ignore the people at the table in favor of an electronic device.
Being on the phone sends the message that whatever is happening on that little screen is more important than the shared social experience of the meal and the company of those present. It’s a way of prioritizing the device over the people. Even having the phone out on the table can be a distraction, as it’s likely to draw the eyes and divide the attention.
There’s also the matter of setting an example, especially for parents who want to model good behavior for their children. Kids learn by observing, so if they constantly see the adults in their life tapping and scrolling away at the dinner table, they’re likely to follow suit and develop the same habits.
All that said, there are some instances where peeking at one’s phone during a meal may be unavoidable or acceptable, such as:
- Expecting an urgent message or important call that can’t be missed
- Using it to quickly check the time
- Employing it as a tool for the meal itself, like looking up a recipe or reviews for the restaurant
- Sharing photos, articles, or videos that are relevant to the table discussion
- Everyone agreeing to a “phone break” during a long, multi-course meal
On the other hand, some situations call for a strict no-phone policy, like a formal business dinner, a romantic date, or a holiday meal with extended family. The more meaningful the occasion, the more it deserves our complete engagement and courtesy.
Ultimately, we should strive to be mindful and present when sharing a meal with others, focusing on the food, ambiance and companionship. At the very least, we can assess the circumstances and use our best judgment to decide whether it’s appropriate to use our phones or not. And if we absolutely must check them, we can excuse ourselves and step away from the table to do so quickly and discreetly.
The phone may feel like an extension of ourselves these days, but it need not extend to the dining table. By putting it away, we open ourselves up to socializing and savoring our food without digital distractions - and that’s the healthiest way to have any meal, for body and soul. The people across from us deserve that respect and attention more than the devices in our pockets.